Fighting the Darkness
by Deathangel125
Summary: Fearing that Duo needs help, Trowa embarks on a journey to help a man he hasn't seen in years that will take him into the darkest recesses of the dangerous night and into himself. Dark, violent, and generally not too pleasant
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me, duh. I'm sure everyone is already aware, but it has to be said anyway.

Warnings: Angst, attempted suicide, horrible language and some major violence are present in this fic. If you can't deal with that kind of thing, don't read this. You won't like it.

Pairings: none

Special thanks to my beta, TanithNight, who has dealt with all of my mistakes so you don't have to!

AN: This is dark and at times unpleasant. Don't hate me because it's not the happy-go-lucky I normally write. Even I need a change from time to time. As always, let me know what you think!

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS

His world was dark and full of pain – his past and present pushed at him, preventing him from seeing a future that could be better. Though he stared and stared, there was nothing left for him to see. Giving himself one last chance to prove he was worth redemption, he stretched his arm fully, dialing the numbers with pain-staking precision.

Even before an answer came, he knew what he would hear. Eyes closed sadly as a recorded message began to play. "You have reached the home of Quatre Raberba Winner," said the cheerful female voice, likely one of the blonde's sisters. "If this concerns a business matter, please call Winner Enterprises during business hours. If this is a personal matter, leave a message and Mr. Winner will return your call as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day."

Looking past his own reflection in the grungy window, tired eyes focused on the grey day that seemed to stalk him everywhere. Wonderful day? Not likely. At the expected beep, he spoke slowly, "Hello, Quatre. I just wanted…never mind. I guess it's not that important," he altered his message with a sigh. Not bothering to say farewell, he disconnected the call and dialed again with the same care he had used before.

"One down, two to go," he mumbled as the next call connected.

"This is Chang. Leave a message." Like Wufei, the message was short and to the point, as always.

Not seeing the point of leaving a message this time, he hung up and dialed again, the last call he would bother to make. Already resigned to the fate he had chosen, he merely sighed when the recorded voice played, "If you call, leave a message."

The simplicity of the statement begged to be met by another simple statement. "I called. I'm leaving a message. Good-bye."

Replacing the phone, his hand hesitated seemingly on its own. There was one other he could call, one other that might be willing to talk to him. The laugh that fell from his dry lips was without any mirth. They had never been friends – not during or after the war. There was no reason to risk the chance of another day of torment.

Leaving the phone where it was, he reached past it to one of the knives he had kept from the war. Though three years had passed since he had used it to defend himself, he had always kept it razor sharp, possibly knowing he would use it again one day.

Holding the knife loosely in his left hand, he opened the vein on his right arm, quickly repeating the act on his opposite arm before he lost the feeling in his hand. Task complete, he let the knife fall to the scarred wood floor and leaned back in the chair, hands hanging at either side of his body, silently apologizing for the mess someone was going to have to clean up before the apartment could be rented out again.

Feeling lethargic as his blood drained onto the floor, Duo Maxwell closed his eyes and smiled sadly, hoping for the peace he had long dreamed of.

Shooting up to a sitting position in the bed, Trowa tried to control the shudders that racked his body. Eventually slowing the convulsions, he glanced at the clock. Four-thirty two in the morning. Since he was supposed to get up in an hour, and there was no way he was going back to sleep with the horrible images still in his mind from the nightmare, he got out of bed and climbed into the shower.

As he stood in the spray he tried to push the disturbing nightmare away, telling himself it had been caused by over work and lack of sleep. There was no way Duo would…

A niggling seed of worry implanted in his brain and remained there as he made his way to work. Silently, he endured the seemingly endless morning meeting, recalling each aspect of the nightmare over and over again. If it had felt like a dream he could have ignored it, but everything had felt so real it was impossible to dismiss.

Depression had emitted from Duo in palpable waves, the once-vivid violet eyes edged with a soul-searing weariness that had paled them. The shoulders once held with rigid pride during the war had been slumped with defeat. The knife, honed with lethal perfection, had glinted in the dull light as it had pulled over pale skin, bringing blood to the surface almost instantly.

When the meeting finally ended, he couldn't have repeated what had been said if his life had depended on it. Wordlessly he made his way to the office he shared with Heero and Wufei, not intending to speak of the horrible vision that had disturbed his sleep. Seeing them already seated, he surprised himself by asking, "Have either of you talked to Duo lately?"

Lifting dark eyebrows, Heero gave him an amused look, "Not lately. He's left a few messages, but I haven't called him back yet."

"He's called me as well. I haven't had time to call," Wufei added as he searched on the internet for a piece of artwork he wanted – a routine in the morning before he began working.

"I see your time is being spent in much better ways," Trowa commented sardonically as he took his own seat, reaching for his phone. In minutes he had a very sleepy Quatre on the other line. "Have you spoken to Duo recently?"

"What? Duo?" There was a yawn before the blonde spoke again. "I got home late last night. Let me check my call log." Trowa kept his feet flat on the floor to squelch the need to fidget. "It seems he called a few times while I was away, but didn't leave a message of any importance. As a matter of fact, the last time he called he said never mind, so I guess he didn't need to talk to me, after all."

Without waiting to hear more, Trowa hung up the phone. It had to be coincidence Duo had said those specific words in his nightmare, right? Nothing else made sense. "How long has it been since either of you talked to him?"

Exchanging confused glances with Heero, Wufei gave a shrug, "I suppose about six months since I spoke to him. He seemed fine."

Heero didn't gesture, "The same. If he doesn't understand we are busy that is not our fault. He works with Hilde and can set his own hours."

"If Duo's been complaining…"

"He hasn't. I haven't talked to him." The minor worry was growing into full-blown concern.

"If you haven't talked to him why are you asking all these questions?" demanded Wufei, eyes already back on the computer screen, proving how ridiculous he felt the conversation was.

Assuming they would laugh at him if he spoke of the nightmare, Trowa rose from his chair and left the room, wishing Duo had made that one last phone call.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 2

"I don't think I understand your request, Barton," Une's hands were flat on her desk, revealing her confusion.

"I would like a leave of absence, starting now," he repeated, knowing what her response would be.

Threading her fingers together, Une shook her head, "I'm sorry, but there are too many things right now that cannot be put off because you feel the need for a sudden vacation. Request denied."

Any other morning he would have nodded respectfully and returned to his office without argument. This morning, however, was like no other. He did manage the nod, but it was executed as he removed the badge and gun he had been awarded upon completion of his agent training. Setting the items on Une's desk, he turned to walk out, stopped by the incredulous voice of his superior, "What is this?"

"My resignation."

"A leave of absence is this importance to you? May I ask why?"

Hoping he wouldn't be laughed out of her office, Trowa faced her, meeting her eyes. "I have a feeling Duo may be in trouble."

Obviously surprised, Une leaned back in her chair, "I didn't think you were close."

"We aren't, but I plan to see him anyway."

"Why you? Why not one of the others?"

"Because no one else seems to care."

Trowa withstood the searching look he received, showing no emotion when she pushed the gun and badge back toward him. "I'll say you have a family emergency. I can give you two weeks. If you need more time than that, I'll see what I can do, but I can't make any promises."

Grateful someone else seemed willing to worry about the long-haired man, Trowa picked up the things that identified him as a Preventer agent and put them back where they belonged. "Thank you."

"If anyone asks, what would you like me to say about your abrupt departure?"

"Don't tell them anything. They were too busy with their own lives to care, so it's none of their business."

He was almost out of the building when Heero and Wufei caught up to him. The desire to ignore their hails was strong, but it was also petty. Stopping inside the main doors, he lifted an eyebrow when Wufei asked, "Where are you going?"

"I'm taking a leave of absence."

"On what grounds?"

"Family emergency."

At this, Heero gave a snort, "You don't have a family."

Recalling the lost expression on Duo's face in the nightmare, Trowa turned and began walking again, "It seems I do."

The slip of paper in his hand led him to the salvage business, where workers were scattered across the yard. After searching through them, he had to admit Duo wasn't there and went to the building that housed the offices. Entering, he was greeted by the sight of a bulky man with shaggy blonde hair, his large feet propped up on a small table, "Whaddya want?"

"I'm here to see Duo Maxwell."

The man dropped his feet to the stained carpet and stood, trying to intimidate with his size, "He ain't here."

"Can you tell me where I can find him?"

"Bo? Who are you talking to?" Hilde asked as she came from a room at the back, steps faltering when she saw Trowa standing in the center of the small waiting room. "Trowa Barton? What are you doing here?"

The man named Bo laughed cruelly, "He's lookin' for Maxwell, babe." Sitting back down, he sneered, "You ain't gonna find him around here. Hil got rid of him when he couldn't take care of business, if you get my drift."

Hilde's face flamed but she didn't contradict the statement. "I haven't seen him. If you see him, tell him I've got a box of stuff he left here."

"I thought he co-owned the business."

Narrowing her eyes, Hilde put her fists on her hips. "If he told you that, he's a liar. This place has been owned by my family for over twenty-five years. He worked here, that's all."

Thinking back, Trowa realized they had all assumed Duo owned part of the salvage yard, though Duo had never actually said so. "He did live with you, didn't he?" he asked, hoping that information was true and not just another assumption.

"He did. He moved out about eight months ago." From the way Bo snickered, Duo had some help when he had moved out, all of it unwanted.

Angry at the way Duo had been treated, both by his so-called friends and this woman, Trowa stepped closer, "You replaced him while he still lived with you?"

"She upgraded to a better model. Maxwell was defective."

Whether Hilde's face paled from embarrassment or shame he didn't care. "That was cruel. You didn't have to be cruel. You know all you had to do was ask him to leave and he would have."

Bo stood again, moving to Hilde's side. "You need to watch your tone, skinny man. You don't talk to my woman that way."

Wondering how anyone could go from being in love to Duo to having feelings for this Neanderthal, Trowa didn't know. Ignoring the large man completely, Trowa directed his question to Hilde alone, "Do you know where he would have gone?"

The way her eyes shifted to the side told him whatever came out of her mouth was going to be a lie, "I have no idea."

"You **will** tell me."

"I told you not to talk to her like that. I'm gonna hafta break you in half so you get my meaning."

Quick as a snake, Trowa lashed out with his hand, planting the side of it across Bo's throat. While the man gasped for breath, Trowa focused on the woman watching him with wide, frightened eyes. "Where would he go?"

"Before he left, he told me he would get an apartment in the Ravyn sector, in case I wanted to talk. As far as I know, he's still there. He would have called and left a message if he'd been planning to move.

Listening to the wheezing breaths Bo was pulling in, Trowa gave her one last look, letting his disgust for her show, "After what you did he still would have taken you back. You deserve everything this creep gives you," he added, gesturing to Bo before spinning on his heel and calmly walking out of the office.

The hotel he stayed in had seen better days, like most of the Ravyn sector. He imagined it had once been a beautiful place, named after the first governor of the colony, Carmin Ravyn. Her reputation had been tarnished when word of her various affairs with underage men had gotten out, the sector bearing her name following after into ruin and disrepair.

Not nearly optimistic enough to trust the food in the hotel vending machines, he found a small diner where the prices were atrocious but the diner itself was clean. With the take-out hidden under his coat he trekked back to his room, all too aware of the eyes watching him from the shadows. Reminding himself to take extra precautions when he went out again, he closed the door behind him and locked it, wedging a chair under the handle as an extra safety measure.

As he ate he turned on his computer, pleased to find internet access even here. A quick search told him there were over ten-thousand residents in the Ravyn sector alone – far too man to search through physically. His hacking skills were rusty from disuse, but he managed to get into the Ravyn sector database, where all resident information was stored. He briefly brooded; thinking of how many transient residents in the area would be unlisted, hoping Duo wasn't one of them.

It was after midnight, L2 time, when he finally found the listing. Noting the address, he admitted it was too late to search for Duo now. No one would be willing to help him, and the denizens of the night were on the prowl for victims. He knew he would stand out as a predator among the prey, but he would rather wait until the next day to stumble around the roads since he didn't know the area.

Before tumbling to the rock-hard mattress, he checked his voice mail, hoping for some reason to find one from Duo. The first was from Quatre. "I don't know what's going on, Trowa. Heero and Wufei said you took leave, but don't know why. After this morning I tried to call Duo but received no answer. Please call me and explain all of this."

The next call was, surprisingly, from Heero. "Let us know if you are okay. Call me when you get this."

The last two calls were from Wufei, apparently still irate, "You have some nerve leaving like this, Barton. Call me and tell me your reasoning," was the first. It was followed by, "What is your problem? I don't like being ignored. Call me."

It was easier then he would have believed to delete the messages, hoping his friends learned how it felt for their pleas to fall on deaf ears.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 3

He was engulfed in darkness, surrounded, penetrated by it to the depths of his soul. There was no way to fight his way from the everlasting agony of…nothing. Entombed in silence, he struggled to break the chains restraining him.

Of all the things he had expected, this hadn't been one of them. He had known taking his life would send him into the fiery depths of hell, but it had been a certainty he was already headed there, so there wasn't much he could do to stop the journey. He could deal with an eternity filled with torture and pain – it wasn't much different from his sham of a life. He had expected that, almost welcomed the eternal torment from the blazing pit. Being suspended in a void, however, was maddening.

Days, weeks, months could have passed while he was trapped in the nihility, unable to see, unable to hear, unable to move. He had tried to speak, stopping when the sound fell flat, sounding strangely muffled as if his ears were stuffed full of cotton.

The voices began softly, a murmur of words he couldn't understand. Straining he listened closer, wishing he could identify where the voices came from. When the voices grew louder, he began to smile, stopping with his mouth set in a grimace as he started to separate words and sentences, spoken in voices from his past.

"Worthless brat."

"No one wants you."

"Dirty, filthy…"

"You should have died instead of me."

"…waste of space."

"You'll never amount to anything."

"Long-haired fool."

"Can't do anything right."

No longer muffled, the words rose in volume until his ears threatened to bleed, his dead coming back to haunt him, accompanied by the insults from the still living. Hundreds of voices came together in a tortuous cacophony, clamoring for attention. He could hear kids from his years on the streets, those from the church, soldiers he had killed on the battlefield. Over these there was also the cold tone of Heero, his closest friend. Quatre's voice mingled with Wufei's, Noin's, Sally's, Howard's, and even Hilde's. Over all of them were others, sneering voices tinted with cruelty that had tormented his sleep – when he had been able to sleep.

"You like that, pretty boy?"

"You were made for things like this, weren't you?"

Eternal torture was preferable to this barrage of insults and mockery. He would rather have his skin peeled off an inch at a time than to have to listen to those he had let die, those that had forgotten him, and those that had taken his pride.

Having no other way to drown out the terrible shouts filling his mind, he opened his mouth and screamed…and screamed…and screamed.

Throat on fire, Trowa wrenched himself from sleep and ran for the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before he threw up his dinner from the night before, retching until there was nothing left. Dizzy, he stayed on his knees for several minutes to make sure he was finished before slowly getting up and brushing his teeth thoroughly, removing the taste of sickness from his mouth.

The hotel phone was ringing by the time he made it out of the bathroom, so he answered it, croaking through a sore throat. "Hello?"

"We've had a number of complaints from other rooms, sir. You have to keep the noise down or we'll have to ask you to leave."

"I'm sorry. I had a…nightmare. It won't happen again," he vowed, rubbing a hand over his throat in an attempt to ease the ache.

"Be sure it doesn't. If there's another complaint…"

"I understand. I apologize for any grievances."

Hanging up, he decided he wouldn't spend another night in this establishment whether he found Duo that day or not. In the shower he let the water run over him as he thought about the nightmares beginning to plague his sleep. Though he was tired – it was only a few minutes after four in the morning – he had no intention of going back to sleep for fear of revisiting Duo's hell, for there was no doubt that was what was happening to him. The notion was insane and something he wouldn't have even considered three days ago, before experiencing two dreams or visions or whatever had showed him Duo, a man he hadn't spoken to in over a year. Even then, there hadn't been much conversation. He had believed he had nothing in common with the former pilot of Deathscythe, his own past as dark as his soul. Foolishly, he had looked only on the surface and had seen nothing more than the cheerful smiles and jokes, never believing the same emptiness lurked within the long-haired man.

It had been a long time since Trowa had felt much of anything, so it took him some time to understand the shame he felt now for not looking beneath the surface. If he had taken the time to look past the façade, would he have seen the pain Duo harbored inside? This was one of the many questions he had to answer, and to do that, he had to find Duo.

Thoughts of food were shoved aside when his stomach rolled. Instead he spent some time searching the local news for any sign of Duo, unsurprised when there was nothing. For all his noise during the war, Duo had a way of being completely silent and fading into the background when attention was unwanted.

The hours passed slowly and at six o'clock he headed out, bag slung over one shoulder. On the street he kept a cautious watch for the people of the night that hadn't yet ceased their prowling, stopping his steps only once when he was confronted by two men carrying long metal rods, their eyes unfocused from whatever form of drug pulsing in their systems.

He didn't back down, knowing that would be a sign of weakness that could end his journey right on the street, in full view of the open businesses. No one would rush to his aid – it was likely he would be robbed once he was down, his body left to rot in the alley just to his right. Keeping his eyes on the men he shifted slightly, allowing his leather jacket to flutter open and give the men a glimpse of the gun tucked into his waistband, as well as the gun seated in his holster. Seeing the flicker from one man, he lifted his arm, palm up, sleeve riding up his arm just enough to reveal the hilt of a knife as well, "You won't win," he stated softly, conveying the truth.

He didn't know if common sense overrode their desire for the money he was bound to have, but they did back away, not turning their backs to him until they were far down the road. Once he was positive they were gone, he continued toward his destination. The building wasn't hard to find, one of the many that lined the road, all practically identical in construction. Entering the apartment, he bypassed the manager's door, identified by a plaque on the door, deciding he would approach the manager only if he was unable to gain entrance into the apartment he sought.

On the third floor he turned to the left after stepping away from the stairs, frowning as he realized the entire building was shrouded in silence. He had assumed people would already be up and preparing for work, letting the usual noises of life filter through closed doors, but there was nothing. It wasn't much of a surprise to find Duo's apartment at the end of the hallway, located beside a window with a rickety fire escape outside it.

The same disturbing silence came from Duo's door as he knocked, lightly at first. Getting no response, he knocked louder and harder, progressing until he was banging on the door with his fist. He might have continued pounding the faux wooden door, was actually considering shouting for Duo to open the damn door when a door opened behind him. "Nobody gonna answer the door, even if you beat it down."

Turning, he regarded the woman that had spoken huskily, clothed only in her underwear, a see-through robe tossed over it. She was at ease with her near-nudity, but not suffering from any visible addiction so he didn't think she was a prostitute, almost immediately categorizing her as a stripper, one with the sense to take care of herself. While her body was curvy and voluptuous, her hair drew his attention, blonde waves cascading over her shoulders.

"You keep starin' and I'm gonna start chargin' hon," she drawled, her tone welcoming but her mouth turned down in disapproval.

"I'm looking for Duo Maxwell."

Crossing her arms over her chest, she tilted her head, "You ain't gonna find him here."

"This is listed as his residence. Has he moved?"

"You a cop or somethin'?"

"A friend," he supplied, hoping Duo would regard it as the truth.

Expressing her disbelief with a dignified snort, she studied him, "Got a name, friend?"

"Trowa."

"Barton?" He blinked at the use of his surname, nodding in answer. In a matter of seconds, her entire demeanor changed and she stepped away from the door, leaving it open as she turned back inside. "He talked about you sometimes. Said you were an honest man. He respected you a whole lot." Stunned by her words, Trowa remained silent as she searched a drawer, jumping slightly when she suddenly exclaimed, "There it is."

Wishing he was better at words, he stared at her as she moved toward the door again, giving him a sultry smile probably meant to heat his blood. "We could go back into my bedroom. I've always wanted to say I had sex with a Preventer agent."

The bold statement yanked him out of his stupor. "I'm sure to someone else that would be a tempting proposition."

"You don't think I'm beautiful?"

"You're beautiful, but not my type," he offered, wondering how he could be having this conversation when Duo's apartment was less than ten feet away.

A pout formed on her lips, "Not enough hips? Too much leg? Don't like blondes?"

Wanting the topic closed, he shook his head, "I don't like breasts."

"My boobs are too big?" she asked, incredulous.

"You have breasts. I'm gay," he added when she continued to stare.

"At least you have a good reason. Duo never took me up on the offer, either."

Following the woman across the hallway, Trowa tried to push aside the worry he felt, using the woman as a distraction. "Duo isn't a Preventer agent."

"Nope, but he was a Gundam pilot."

"Why did he turn you down?" He wasn't going to admit he had also been a pilot, fearing the woman might not be so casual about being turned down.

"Wasn't interested when he first moved in, then after what happened to him, he couldn't bear the thought of sex."

Waiting until she finally unlocked the door, he preceded her inside, "What happened to him?"

Looking around the room, she winced, "I guess it was going to happen eventually. He was so pretty he was bound to get the attention of some of the sickos in the area. He did manage to avoid them for longer than I thought he would, but I swear that made them even more frantic to get their hands on him."

Knowing what he might find in the apartment didn't stop him from looking, stepping in the small living room and staring down at the floor beneath his feet, scarred from numerous residents over the years. "He was assaulted."

"That's a pleasant word for it," the woman snorted derisively. After a moment she sighed, "I knew he was bothered by what happened, but I didn't expect him to kill himself."

Trowa's chest tightened even though he had expected something terrible. Swallowing hard, he moved through the postage-stamp sized apartment, unerringly finding the chair Duo had sat in the kitchen, twin pools of dried blood to either side of it on the floor. The knife still lay where it had dropped, rust colored stains marring the gleaming blade.

Hearing his own ragged breathing, he was barely able to hear the woman as she appeared at his side, also staring at the chair. "If the medics hadn't gotten here so fast, Duo would have bled to death. There was so much blood."

"You were here?"

"I'm the one that found him. He was supposed to come over for dinner. When he didn't show up I got worried and let myself in. I called the paramedics and made sure to tell them who he was. That's the only reason they were in a hurry. A lot of people still feel indebted to the Gundams." She shrugged and averted her eyes from the grisly scene. "It seems bad here, but before the war ended it was so much worse. At least now it's possible to have a job that pays more than a few credits a day."

Finding it difficult to care about the condition of the colony, he speared her with a glare, cutting off her words. "Duo's alive?"

"Sort of. He's in a coma."

"Where is he?"

"The hospital in Karney sector. It's the closest one with the equipment they needed to take care of him." She made a distressed noise when he crouched down and picked up the knife, looking at it for a moment before tucking it into his bag. "Why'd you take hat? That's just morbid."

"Duo's had it for years. When he's better he'll want it back."

"You must not understand people very well. He used this to try and kill himself. He won't want it back."

Standing, he lifted his eyebrows when he saw her shudder of revulsion. "I don't understand most people, but I understand Duo. He'll want it back."

"How do you know?"

"Because I would."


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 4

Getting to the hospital was easy, despite having to use public transportation. The ride to the hospital was fairly quick and thankfully silent, though the driver gave him wary looks in the mirror occasionally, giving him some time to deal with some hard truths. Needing some way to organize his thoughts, Trowa began listing them in chronological order.

Eight months ago, Hilde had kicked Duo out of his home, with the help of her Cro-Magnon boyfriend. In that same incident, Duo had also lost his job. For reasons Trowa didn't understand, Duo had relocated to a different and more dangerous area of the colony. A few months later, according to Duo's neighbor, whose name was Silk, the long-haired man had been assaulted and raped, although she had never come out and said that plainly.

Unfortunately, the last five to six months was a complete blank. Trowa intended to fill in that empty space, needing to know why Duo had decided the only option he had left was to take his own life rather than face the darkness.

The darkness. Flinching away from the dream memories instinctively, he forced himself to face them. Was the darkness all Duo could see now, able only to hear the voices of his damned? Probably. It was hard to put such a violation in the past, but what other factors had been present to keep Duo from searching for another way out?

Could the neglect from your closest friends cause you to lose all hope? For Trowa the answer was no – he had never allowed anyone close enough for them to really hurt him. A person like Duo, who cared more for others than he did himself, would see it differently. Even understanding this, Trowa believed there was more behind Duo's decision; the missing months in his timeline preventing him from figuring it out.

Pulling to a stop in front of the hospital, he realized he was scowling, apparently frightening the driver, whose face was a chalky white as he stuttered out the fare. Trowa paid quickly, adding a large tip for the driver. He only shook his head when the car took off after he had shut the door, turning his attention to the front doors. Out of habit he scanned the area as he was walking inside, ignoring the curious stares from the security guard sitting just inside.

Spying the visitor's desk, he angled in that direction, heaving a sigh when he heard the voice behind him. "You can't bring luggage in here, sir. You need to check it in at the security station."

Patience running low, he turned his head and glared at the guard, "No."

"I'll have to ask you to leave, sir." The guard's eyes moved to the visitor's station, probably a signal to call for back-up.

"I'm not leaving my bag with you, and I'm not leaving."

"Sir, I don't want a scene. This is a place of healing."

"I have a friend in a coma I need to see. I don't trust anyone. You will not make me leave, nor will you take the bag out of my possession. I don't have time to argue with you."

"Maybe you don't understand the way things are done here. You're not going any farther in this hospital."

With his goal so close, Trowa had no intention of being turned away before he was able to see Duo. "You can search my bag, and then I take it with me. You can search it when I leave. I don't need to take anything from here."

Obviously not expecting the compromise, the guard regarded him thoughtfully before nodding. "This way, sir. We can go to one of the employee lounges so the patients and visitors won't be nervous."

The guard led him down a hallway, then another, turning into a large room with vending machines, a microwave and a coffee maker on one wall, lockers lining another. In the center of the room there was a long table, where the man gestured. Trowa waited until the two guards following them caught up, seeing the surprise from all three men.

Striding to the table, he fought the need to roll his eyes when one guard spotted his weapon, "Gun!" Instantly he was faced with three pistols being aimed at him from various areas of the room. "Get down on the ground and put your hands out to the sides."

"I'm authorized to carry weapons."

"Not in civil and public buildings."

Barely turning his head, he stared at the man that had contradicted him, noting the excitement in the brown eyes. "I'm authorized to carry it wherever I want, including private and public buildings, as well as government owned buildings."

"No one has that much authority except the Preventers," the first guard stated, eyes watching Trowa closely.

Holding his jacket open to keep the guns in full view, Trowa slowly reached inside the pocket and pulled out his badge, safely ensconced in a leather bi-fold wallet. Flipping it open to reveal the contents, he was grateful Une had let him keep his credentials.

The first guard lowered his weapon, holding out a hand. After inspecting the identification, he nodded to the others before turning his attention to the bag still on Trowa's shoulder. "You might not understand colony protocols, since you come from Earth."

"I'm a colonist that lives on Earth. I understand the protocols – that doesn't mean I have to like them. You've managed to waste my time."

"Just because you're a Preventer doesn't mean you get special treatment," the second guard – the same one that had been all too happy to aim a gun at his face – sneered, excitement gone.

"Yes, it does, and you know it," the third man, a little older than the others, finally spoke up. "I thought the Preventers mainly took people that served in the war?"

"Mostly. They do hire others if they can get through the training. Most of them hold office positions."

"There's no way you were in the way. You're too young."

"I was part of an…elite group."

The third man shook his head, awareness in his eyes. "You're here to see Maxwell, aren't you?"

The second man, who Trowa judged to be more brawn than brain, snorted, "You a mind reader, old man?"

"Dewitt, if you would pay more attention, your girlfriend wouldn't be screwing around on you," the first guard commented. "Think real hard and you might be able to guess who he's here to see."

Shaking his head as if he doubted Dewitt's abilities, the third guard gestured to Trowa. "I'll take you upstairs. We have him in a locked ward."

Gratefully leaving the other two guards behind, Trowa followed the older man into a staff elevator. "Why in a locked ward? He can't be dangerous."

"You misunderstand. He's in a locked ward to protect him, not anyone else. There are people that hold a grudge, and many would love a chance at one of you while he's unable to protect himself."

"I appreciate it," Trowa said sincerely.

"It's the least we can do. That boy protected this very colony, more than once. I suppose you did, too."

Out of the elevator, he waited while the guard pressed a button that would summon a nurse. Five minutes later, a small brown-haired woman with hazel eyes appeared on the other side of bullet-proof glass, giving Trowa a blatant once-over. "James, you know I can't let anyone in."

"Show her your badge, son," James instructed, waiting until Trowa pressed it against the window. "He's here to see Maxwell. You want to tell him no?"

A buzzer sounded signaling the release of the lock. James remained on the outside while Trowa passed through. "You need anything, my name is James Fisher. I work most days."

"Thank you for everything."

When the door closed behind him with a loud click, he waited several long seconds, the nurse's feet unmoving. "Do I need to find Duo's room myself?" he finally asked, irritated he was being delayed again.

"No, sir. Right this way. I never thought I'd meet a Preventer agent. Taking care of a Gundam pilot is hard enough to believe, but this is amazing."

Spying a room with a guard stationed outside of it, Trowa pulled out his badge and flashed it, assuming this was the room he wanted. Leaving the door open, he walked inside and stood beside the bed, stunned at what he found.

The person he saw was recognizable as Duo, but just barely. The pale skin was so ashen it matched the bandages covering Duo's forearms, the healthy pink tint having vanished. As with all the pilots, Duo had been skinny, often warding off concerns about being unhealthy though he was densely muscled for his small stature. Now the man before Trowa was past skinny, the skin looking like it was stretched over pointy bones, barely any muscle remaining.

Duo's eyes were closed and unmoving under the lids, dark circles ringing them, sunk into the man's face like someone starving. Continuing his study, Trowa saw the way the bangs had been pushed away from his face. Abruptly, he let out a gasp, reaching out to touch Duo's chestnut hair, his pride and joy. The thigh length braid was gone, Duo's loose hair coming to a stop halfway down his arms. For some reason, this shocked Trowa more than the rest of the other man's appearance.

Everyone knew how Duo had coveted the long rope of hair. It had been one of the things off-limits to everyone. The times they had worked together, Trowa had never seen it down, suspecting it was something Duo took care of in private. This was more proof something had gone very wrong in the other man's life, other than what he had determined thus far.

He was still toying with the strands of hair when he heard movement behind him, hurriedly moving his hand to the railing and turning his head to see who had come. Assuming the woman beside him was a doctor, he got straight to the point. "What happened to him?"

Defiant green eyes met his own, "I don't know who you are. Patient information is confidential. I won't speak to anyone other than Mr. Maxwell's next of kin."

"He has no surviving relatives."

"What is your name?"

Lifting an eyebrow at her obstinacy, he grudgingly gave her his respect as she stared him down, not willing to be intimidated on behalf of her patient. "Trowa Barton."

She blinked then began to flip through the file she carried. "Trowa Barton. Native of the L3 colony, currently residing on Earth where you are employed by the Preventers. May I see your ID?"

Wondering if he should find a way to tack his badge to his forehead, Trowa handed it over, frowning darkly when she pulled out a cellphone. "Sal, I have a man here claiming to be Trowa Barton. Will you describe him for me? Thanks, it's him. I'll talk to you soon."

Knowing of only one woman that would be able to describe him that would respond to Sal, Trowa retrieved his badge, "You are acquaintances with Sally Po?"

"We went to medical school together." Moving to the opposite side of the bed, she took Duo's vital signs as she spoke, "Mr. Maxwell attempted to take his own life night before last. He was unresponsive to medics and upon his arrival at the hospital he was taken to surgery. There was extensive damage to his arms and he required three liters of blood to replace what he had lost. I've never seen someone so determined to die and live at the same time."

"What do you mean?" Trowa took note of the way her small hands brushed the loose strands of Duo's hair from his face, but said nothing of it.

"If anyone else had lost that amount of blood they would have been dead. I think he was fighting to live."

"Was there any nerve damage?"

"Some, though we believe it was repaired during surgery. We won't know for certain unless he wakes up, but the tests we conducted showed positive results."

"Brain activity?"

Seemingly surprised by the question, she fell silent for a moment. "His brain activity is strange. Most coma patients never have an increase in their brain scans, but his have been…erratic."

"Explain," he said brusquely, suspicious of the way she seemed to hesitate.

"Most coma patients have just enough activity to keep their life functions going, no more. Mr. Maxwell seems to be simply sleeping, yet there are times when his brain activity goes off the charts. It's like he's fighting against something in his own mind, though that's ridiculous."

"The darkness."

"I beg your pardon?"

"He's fighting the darkness," he repeated without any intention of clarifying. "The odd activity occurs between one and four a.m., correct?" he asked, remembering the times of his own nightmares.

The doctor was now staring at him with confusion in her eyes. "How would you know that? You haven't been here to know that."

"It's…hard to explain."

"Exactly how did you know to come, Mr. Barton? My staff has been trying to locate your number, but has so far been unsuccessful."

"Why would you call me?" Trowa avoided her query, asking one of his own instead.

"You are listed as Mr. Maxwell's next of kin." Seeing his surprise, she smoothed Duo's hair one last time. "Please accompany me to my office. We have some things to discuss."


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 5

In the doctor's meticulously organized office, Trowa sat his bag down beside the chair and rubbed his shoulder. "Would you like some coffee?" she asked, closing the door so they would have privacy.

Thinking of his lack of sleep and the long hours he had spent to find Duo, he nodded wearily. Trying to think of a way to explain his abrupt trip, he came up with nothing and considered telling the truth, no matter how nuts it sounded. A mug being set in front of him had him pulling out of his thoughts, shaking his head in response to the cream and sugar she held out. When she chose to set next to him, rather than behind the desk, he watched her expectedly.

"Before we discuss the matter of your timely arrival, I have to ask if you knew of Mr. Maxwell's previous…injuries."

"Duo was in the war. There are likely a number of scars from that."

Setting her cup aside, the woman winced, "This is more recent. Likely occurring within the last year."

Realizing what she spoke of, he sighed, "I haven't spoken to Duo in a number of years. We were never close. I believe he was assaulted about six months ago, and raped at the same time."

"You know a lot about someone you claim not to speak to," she commented with a lift of her brows.

"When I found his apartment, his neighbor told me of the attack. I had a…hunch about the rape."

"Like the hunch that brought you here, Mr. Barton?"

Seeing the patience directed at him, he reluctantly nodded, "I had a bad feeling something had happened to Duo, so I came to find him."

"You traveled all the way from earth because of a bad feeling? I don't believe that."

Instead of responding, Trowa drank the coffee, finding it strong enough to float a fork on top of. After several minutes, he set his own coffee aside, now wide awake. "Have you ever heard of an occurrence where someone could see what happened to a person in a dream? Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Since we're speaking hypothetically, I would have to say, as a doctor, such a thing could only occur because of delusions or schizophrenia, or some other mental illness. However, as someone with gypsy ancestors, I would have to say that such an occurrence is known as dream-sight." She smiled when Trowa jerked, inclining her head at him. "If someone was interested in learning about such a phenomenon, I would suggest that person do a search on the internet," she told him quietly, as if afraid someone would hear.

"It's an interesting theory, but a person would have to be crazy to believe in such a thing," he replied with a nod, understanding she was telling him to do so. "Will there be a problem if I stay here? I would like to be close to Duo in case he…needs me."

"I'll have a cot set up in his room. If you would like to eat, the food here is actually good, simply tell the nurses to order you something. Would you like some over-the-counter sedatives? You could get some sleep without the …disturbances."

"No," was his immediate reply. He couldn't explain how he felt he was supposed to be sharing Duo's nightmare, if that's what it was, but he thought it was important that he did. "I'll be fine, Dr…."

"Gionanni. Gina Gionanni. Most just call me Dr. G."

Since she wouldn't understand the irony, Trowa kept his face blank as he shook her hand. "Dr. Gionanni it is."

The darkness was filled with the thunder of voices, clashing together so they were no longer discernible. His screams continued, needing to drown out the noise before he lost his mind, if he hadn't already. When the voices abruptly decreased in volume, he stopped screaming, wondering why he had been given a respite.

Feeling another presence, he frowned. Afraid of what he would hear, he called out tentatively over the continuous hum of a thousand whispers, "Is someone there?"

"You can hear me?" the other person sounded as stunned as he felt.

"I can hear you. Have you come to help me die?"

"I've come to help you, but not to help you die. You can't die, Duo."

Although the voice was vaguely familiar, he couldn't put a name to it. "Who are you?"

"It's me. Why didn't you call me? I would've answered the phone."

The tone was soft and hurt. He could hear the pain, yet didn't trust it. "Trowa? Why would you answer?"

"Because I know what it's like to get up and face every day feeling like you're unwanted and unneeded. I could have helped you. All you had to do was call."

"I-I didn't think you would care. No one else did. Why would they? I'm worthless."

"No, you're not. You can't give up. Keep fighting the darkness, Duo. I'll help you all that I can."

The voices were rising in volume again, drowning out whatever Trowa was trying to tell him. Over the screams of hatred and anger, he fought to hear. He needed to know. He had to know.

As the sound washed over him, he sighed and closed his eyes. If he could hold on, if he could fight back, perhaps he would finally, finally be able to rest. Calling on reserves he didn't realize he had, he opened his eyes and stared into the blank canvas of nothing, fighting to hold on until he could hear the one voice that had given him hope.

Instantly coming awake, he jerked up his head from where it had been lying on Duo's bed, staring at the other man in wonder. How had Duo been able to hear him? Attempting to sort things out, he felt movement on his hand and looked at it, stunned to find it clasping Duo's smaller hand tightly. Had that been why they had been able to communicate instead of him only witnessing the other man's torment?

Deciding to try again later, he gently removed his hand, stupefied when Duo's hand opened at the small tug. Not sure if the other man was able to hear him, he leaned close to the unconscious man's ear. "I have to go eat, but I swear I'll be back. We'll fight the darkness together, Duo. You are not worthless, no matter what you've heard.

He couldn't be positive, but he would almost swear the other man's head moved minutely in a nod.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 6

"Mr. Barton, I hate to bring this up at such a time for fear of sounding crass and uncaring, but it has been brought to our attention Mr. Maxwell has no insurance."

Looking up from his computer, where he had been doing the search the doctor had suggested, Trowa stared at the man in the doorway for a few seconds, trying to decide what he should do. An answer came to him that seemed so perfect he almost smiled. "Let me make some phone calls. I'm sure I can arrange things to the hospital's satisfaction."

"I'll come back in the morning, sir. There's no rush, and we are taking a lot off the total bill in light of Mr. Maxwell's service during the war, but we simply can't help him for free."

"I understand, and I'm sure Duo would, too. I thank you for your patience. I'll make arrangements for his bills by tonight, for any he has or will incur until he recovers."

The man hesitated, lowering his clipboard. "You realize he may never wake up, don't you? The recovery rate for coma patients is very low, even under the best circumstances."

"He'll wake up," Trowa said firmly, not willing to doubt.

Peering across the room to where Duo lay motionless, the man offered a small smile, "I hope so. He's a great man. It would be a shame if he doesn't wake up when we all owe him so much."

The man left, closing the door behind him. Alone with Duo, Trowa leaned over, glancing at their clasped hands. "Did you hear that, Duo? He doesn't think you're worthless, or useless. He didn't say you were a good man, but a great one. I've heard things like that since I began looking for you. Everyone here wants you to live. They all look up to you, just like I do."

It had been two days since his arrival at the hospital; Trowa had spent all his time in the building. During the long hours of the day, he scoured the internet for occurrences like his and Duo's, where one person was dreaming and another could enter the dream. He hadn't found anything that said he should be able to talk to Duo, but continued to search. When he took breaks from that, he tried to find anything about Duo's past, taking snippets of what he heard in dreams.

He had found his first clue when he had searched for any mention of a plague on the L2 colony, finally finding the information he needed and wondering how the thousands of deaths had been covered up when the plague had swept through the low-income colony. Nearly half the low-income population had been gone by the time the plague had finally died out, done running its course.

That had led to Duo's brief mention of the people that had died at the church. It hadn't taken long to connect the Maxwell church massacre with Duo – who had apparently taken the name in either memory or penance. Finding a photo of the aftermath, Trowa had clicked on it, only to gape at the small, forlorn figure of a child almost hidden in the shadows as people tried to put out the fire. Even in the black and white photo he could see the intensity of the wide eyes as they focused on the bodies being loaded into a coroner's van.

Following Duo through the war had been easy enough, already knowing where to look. Even the first year after the end of the battles had information of Duo's life, telling of his partnership in the salvage business and his seemingly perfect relationship with Hilde. The second year there had been fewer details, the former Gundam pilots being replaced with more recent news. There had been a short mention of the acts of charity Duo had made of both his time and money, mainly focusing on a new church being built under the name of the New Maxwell Church.

The information had been printed less than a month before Hilde had kicked him out. To learn of the woman's deception right after construction of the church was completed had to be painful, and a second piece of the puzzle that had eventually combined to bring about Duo's downfall.

Thinking of this, Trowa tightened his hand around Duo's for a moment, reaching his other hand over to play with the strands of Duo's much shorter hair. "What else happened to you, Duo? You were always so proud of your hair, what made you get so much of it cut off? You've always been one of the strongest people I know, and I didn't think anything could drag you down this way. I've looked and looked, but I can't find anything. Can you give me some clue to help you? Will Hilde know anything?"

The small squeeze of Duo's hand had Trowa jerking in surprise, eyes flicking to the sleeping face for confirmation. Though there was nothing, he nodded, "I'll go talk to her tomorrow, when that asshole isn't around." This time there was no imagining the way Duo's eyes twitched under the close lids.

Withdrawing his hand, Trowa pulled out his cellphone before he forgot the call he needed to make, sneering as he saw several voicemails and messages that had been left in the last few days. Without the slightest bit of guilt, he erased them all, anger burning in his gut as he dialed.

"Trowa, are you all right? Why haven't you called before this? We've all been so worried about you."

"Sucks when your calls are ignored, doesn't it, Quatre?"

"I believe you've made your point sufficiently, Trowa." The blonde's voice was less worried now, and more irritated, having realized Trowa wasn't hurt or in danger. "I'm assuming you didn't call just to chat."

Just beginning to make his point, Trowa sat on the edge of Duo's bed, fingers touching the white gauze carefully, "I need a favor."

"All you had to do was ask. You know I'll do anything to help you."

Hands clenching around the phone, Trowa wondered why the same care hadn't been offered to Duo. "I'm afraid I've racked up quite a bill here and there is no way I can pay for it."

Quatre sounded baffled when he replied, but he didn't hesitate, "Very well. Let me have the name of the business and I'll settle the bill for you."

Anticipating the reaction he was about to get, he lowered his voice slightly, "I'm at the Kerney Hospital on L2."

"Oh my god. Are you okay? What happened? Why are you at the hospital?"

"The room is in Duo's name, not mine. I'm here to see him."

Silence filled the line for a long moment, Quatre finally asking softly, "Duo's in the hospital?"

"He was brought in five days ago after trying to kill himself - a decision he made after calling you, Heero, and Wufei and getting no answer. You tell me, Quatre, have I sufficiently made my point about not returning phone calls?"

"It was one call, Trowa," defended the blonde. "I wasn't even home to get the message until later."

At his wit's end, Trowa allowed the anger he felt thread into his words, "It wasn't the first call you ignored. I know you have your messages forwarded if your assistant believes they're important. Mine are forwarded, as are Heero's and Wufei's. Why wasn't Duo important enough to have his calls sent through to you? Have you really grown so careless and callous about someone that believed in you?"

"Trowa, I didn't know!"

"How could you know? You didn't care enough to know. One phone call was all it would have taken to help him. Five minutes of your precious time was all he needed." The wrenching sobs did little to penetrate his anger.

"Can I speak to him?"

"He's in a coma. He's not able to speak to anyone."

"I'll come right away. If I leave tonight, I should be able to get there -"

"I don't want you here," Trowa interrupted coldly. "You didn't have time for Duo before. You can't make that up by being here now. Since you obviously have more money than time, you can take care of his bills at the hospital. I expect either Heero or Wufei to deal with his other expenses, from his rent to hiring someone to clean the bloodstains from his apartment."

"Apartment? I thought he was living with Hilde."

"He was until she kicked him out almost a year ago."

"If I had known I would have called him. You have to believe me."

The plea was met with doubt. "You wouldn't even answer when he tried to call. How many times did you ignore his messages? Did you even listen to them before erasing them?" Silence met his last inquiry, giving him the answer. "How many calls did you ignore, Quatre? Five, ten, a dozen, a hundred?" At the soft sobs, Trowa looked at Duo's face, so pale and gaunt. "You all owe him for more than you can repay, but we'll start with his bills. Take care of them, Quatre. Give Heero and Wufei my instructions. I don't want to see any of you here, not at all. When Duo wakes up, if he wants you here, I'll let you know."

Hanging up the phone, Trowa cut off the entreaties, watching Duo's face. It was disconcerting to realize at some point he had begun to rub the other man's arm with his thumb, fingers loosely clasped around the end of the bandages. Not sure why he was unwilling to stop, he took Duo's hand with his free one. "You concentrate on fighting your own demons, Duo. I'll protect you here. No one will see you until you're ready, okay?"

A fitful night of sleep left Trowa tired and worn. The entire night had been spent in the chair beside Duo's bed rather than the cot, his hand clasping Duo's. The nightmares had come and gone randomly, and he had tried to give Duo some reassurance to ease the American's tortured soul. Duo had heard him at least twice, the other man listening intently to his words of encouragement and support, promising he would try to hang on. Trowa's heart had clenched in sympathy as Duo had searched the darkness for the owner of the only kind voice within the others. Trowa's breaking point had been when Duo had begged not to be left alone.

He had been so close to promising to stay but hadn't, unwilling to lie to give peace of mind, assuming it would backfire on him in the worst way later. Fervently he had given the only vow he could honestly uphold, "I have to leave for a while, but I promise I'll be back. I have to talk to Hilde."

"She knows. It was Bo, but she knows."

The sadness of Duo's voice had him vowing to find out truth. "Is there anything else, Duo? Anyone else I need to talk to?" he had shouted over the constant rising of voices.

"Sweepers," was the only reply he could hear that made sense, the word coming from Duo's voice instead of the hundred others.

Unsure what to do now, Trowa planned to visit Hilde first, positive she was hiding something. He stood aside as the morning nurse came in to change Duo's bandages, seeing the damage that had been done. Before they were rewrapped, he stepped forward and studied the long slits. Seeing his scrutiny, the nurse spoke in a soft tone, "He's healing remarkably well, Mr. Barton. Dr. G has already scheduled another surgery for next week with the plastic surgeon. There won't be any scarring by the time they're done. It'll be like your boyfriend never even hurt himself."

Surprised at the observation, he hurriedly corrected her, "He's a friend. We aren't involved."

Face flushing in embarrassment, the nurse concentrated on wrapping the gauze around Duo's arms. "I didn't mean to offend you. It's obvious you care for him a great deal."

"I didn't…I don't," he stuttered, searching for what he wanted to say and sighing when he saw the protective posture he had taken without thinking, standing beside the bed, his hand resting on a bony shoulder. "We're friends," he repeated.

She gave him a quick glance through black bangs, "Are you friends because you want it to be that way, or because he does?"

"We've always just been friends," he shrugged, uncomfortable with the questions.

Gathering her supplies, she threw the old bandages in a biohazard container. "I wish I had friends like you I could count on. I'll be back in a few minutes with breakfast."

"I'll eat while I'm out. There are some things Duo left that need to be tied up. Is there any way to get a guard put back on the door while I'm gone? I don't want anyone in this room without me being here."

"That's no problem. Is there anyone specific you would like?"

"See if James Fisher is available for a while. I trust him."

"I believe he's working today. I'll give him a call for you. Will you be back by dinner or will you get something while you're out, too?"

"I'll be back by then."

"If there's anything else…"

He thought it over for a moment, "Actually, is there any way I can wash his hair tonight?"

"We can do that, Mr. Barton. You don't need to worry."

"I would like to do it myself, if that's okay." Duo's reaction if he woke and found a stranger washing his hair could prove to be ugly.

"It's no problem. After you come in, stop at the nurses' station. I'll leave everything you need there, shampoo, a comb and a water basin," she clarified at his confused expression.

Deciding it wouldn't take long to stop and get some supplies, he told her, "All I'll need is the basin. I'll get the other things on my own."

Beaming a smile in his direction, she cast another glance at Duo, "I really do wish I had friends like you."


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 7

The ride from Kerney sector to Shokar, where Hilde lived and worked, took almost an hour, giving him plenty of time to make a list of things he needed to purchase both for Duo and himself. Directing the cab to let him out several blocks from the salvage yard meant he had enough time to call Une and fill her in.

Waiting for Une to answer, he reflected he had talked more in the last three days than he had in the last month. Since it seemed he still had more to discuss, the chances of him retreating back into his shell seemed unlikely, confirmed when his superior finally answered. "Barton, report," was the terse order.

"Duo tried to kill himself," he stated without preamble. "He's in a coma in a hospital on L2."

"So you're coming back?"

"No. I intend to stay until he wakes."

"You know the chances of him waking…"

"Are slim. I'm aware. If I hadn't known, I've been told several times." The salvage yard came in sight and he found a place to wait until he saw proof Hilde was alone, or one of the couple left. "I still intend to stay. Duo needs someone here. I won't let him down the way the others did."

He could hear the sigh and smiled to himself as he leaned at the mouth of an alley. Though her tone was reserved, he knew she was resigned to whatever action he would take. "I don't know how much time I can give you before I have to ask you to come back."

"If that time comes and I'm unable to return, I'll turn my badge and gun in at the branch office here."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that. Is there anything you need from me?"

His first reaction was to say no. He wasn't used to asking for help unless it came from one of the Gundam pilots. Still unwilling to ask more of them, he inquired, "Can you find me a way to get in touch with some of the sweepers? They might know a way to help me reach Duo."

"It might take some time. They aren't often willing to be found, and tend to travel in groups. I believe Noin has kept in contact with some of them. May I ask for assistance from her?"

"Keep the matter between the two of you."

"Barton, the other pilots…"

"I have informed them of what has happened, and told them I don't want them here."

Une's tone was uncharacteristically soft when she replied, "Understood. I'll get back to you with the requested information as soon as I have it."

"I have to ask you to mail it to me. I'm keeping the ringer off while at the hospital."

Once the call ended he pushed the phone in his pocket, reminding himself to charge it when he was back with Duo. Keeping the majority of his attention on the salvage yard offices he studied the area, making notes on any people that came and went, memorizing the faces of the employees when they came close enough to see them. Another part of him took constant survey of the people surrounding him in case he was attacked. Though this sector was the nicest he had been in thus far, there was still a large amount of destitute prowling the streets even in daylight.

Thirty minutes passed, then an hour, then two. He was beginning to wonder if Hilde had even come to work when the office door finally opened, nodding her head and scribbling in a notepad. When she began walking in his direction he melded back into the shadows of the alley, allowing her to pass less than three feet in front of him. Seconds later, he was following her, wanting to see where she was going this time of day, and hoping her destination was a less populated area.

After twenty minutes she turned down into a series of underground tunnels created to free space for buildings. Knowing some of the tunnels could run for miles and had top-side entrances every fifty feet, Trowa moved closer to Hilde than he had dared before, absently noticing foot traffic was dwindling the farther she walked.

Emerging from the tunnel, he lagged behind as she crossed the narrow road to a deli, opening the door and waving to someone as she walked inside. Fairly certain she would return the same way she had come, he went back to the tunnels, lounging on a post where he would be hidden from view. Hilde would walk past him to go back to the salvage yard, and he planned to use that to his advantage.

She took so long to return he was beginning to doubt she was going back to work. As she finally passed he fell into step just behind her, considering for a second just kidnapping her until she gave him the information he needed. One glance told him that option was closed to him – too many people were around.

Choosing a plan that was plain crazy – and something Duo might have done during the war – he lengthened his stride and tossed an arm over her shoulder once he was beside her, caging her between his body and restraining arm so she had no chance to escape.

Looking up at him with fearful eyes, Hilde clenched the bag she was carrying tightly to her chest, supposedly lunch for herself and Bo. "Trowa, what are you doing?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you," she hissed, attempting to jerk away. Finding herself confined, she attempted a glare. "If you don't let me go, I'll scream."

"You scream and I'll cut your throat," he said with a shrug, tapping the knife strapped to his wrist on her shoulder. Apparently she had been around Duo long enough to identify what the metallic clink under his sleeve was, subsiding quickly.

After a moment, she spoke softly, "What do you want to talk about? I have to get back soon. Bo knows where I went."

Understanding the unspoken threat, Trowa snorted, "I don't plan to kill you. We need to speak somewhere."

A quick shake of her head was followed by, "I'm not going with you anywhere. Just let me go."

"Duo tried to kill himself," he said abruptly, sick of the way she was trying to avoid talking to him.

Shock had her feet freezing to the metallic floor of the tunnel. "You're lying. Duo would never do such a thing."

"He's in a coma. I wouldn't be talking to you otherwise."

For a long time she simply stood, searching his face for the truth. "Why would he? Duo's never given up before. You don't think he would do that because of me, do you?"

Unable to determine what Duo had ever seen in the black-haired woman, he began to walk, practically pulling her along until her feet moved on their own. In his opinion, Hilde was far too focused on herself to treat Duo the way he should be treated. "I think it was a contributing factor."

"That's crazy," she insisted, hurrying her steps to keep up with Trowa's longer stride. "We weren't even really a couple, not in certain ways."

"You lived together for two years. Worked together all that time, yet you weren't a couple?"

"Not really. We were never…intimate," she blushed, frowning deeply.

Trowa's feet stopped moving as he stared down at her. "Why not?"

Her eyes flickered, "He couldn't."

"Couldn't, or wouldn't?"

"It amounts to the same thing, doesn't it?" Hilde snapped suddenly as they moved out of the tunnels into the dim light of mid-day on L2. "We lived together and did all the things a normal couple did. Eat, go out to dinner or the movies, hang out with friends, cleaned house, all that crap. We even slept in the same bed. Not once did he try to touch me, not in bed or out of it. I asked him about it several times. He said he didn't want to have sex with me, then he said he would think about it." Bitterness was in her eyes as she averted her gaze. "I eventually got tired of waiting for him to decide he wanted me, and found somebody else."

"I've met your idea of somebody else," the tall man snorted. "I wasn't impressed."

"Bo's okay. He can be crude sometimes, but so could Duo."

"There's violence in him. If you can't see it you're a bigger fool than I thought."

Her eyes flickered again, but not with a lie. This flicker was one of knowledge. Not wanting to be in sight of the salvage yard, he pulled her to a hard metal bench, the green paint faded with age and use. "Tell me."

Jerking up her chin, she glared at him defiantly, "Tell you what?"

"Tell me what Bo did."

"Bo wouldn't do anything. He's really not as bad as you make him sound."

Beyond tired of the verbal cat-and-mouse game they were playing, Trowa waited until she looked at him. "Tell me what he did or I'll find out myself. If I have to learn it from him, I promise all of his pieces will never be found again, and all the doctors in the world won't be able to put him back together again."

Realizing he was telling the truth, Hilde tried to move away, stopping abruptly when his hand clamped around her arm with bruising force. "You have the nerve to say Bo's violent? You're a hypocrite."

"I never said I wasn't capable of hurting someone, but I don't enjoy it. He would. Tell me before I go find out for myself."

Her gaze focused on the sparsely populated sidewalk, Hilde began to chew on her fingernails, "I don't' know anything, really."

"Then tell me what you suspect."

"One night…about a month after Duo…moved out, I woke up. Bo was gone so I went to find him. He was on the phone with one of his friends, one that's a bit…rough around the edges. Bo was describing Duo and gave his address, telling his friend to make sure it was done soon." Meeting Trowa's eyes, she shook her head, "I asked Bo what he was doing. He said his friend was going to show Duo what it meant to be a real man. I was so scared Duo was going to get killed, but I couldn't stop it. When there wasn't…any news…I forgot about it."

Stomach rolling, Trowa took a few deep breaths to control his rage. "I want the names of Bo's friend, and anyone that may have helped him."

"Duo's been beat up before," Hilde said dismissively, flinching when she saw the expression on his face.

Stupefied that the woman really had no clue, he shook her angrily, "He wasn't beat up, you idiot. You really are stupid," he hissed. "He was raped, by what the doctors assume was multiple people. He was left in an alley, beaten nearly to death and naked. He was in the hospital for almost a week, and his neighbor had to help him for another week because he was so badly hurt he couldn't walk," he spat, telling her of what he had learned by hacking into the hospital report, then the police files. The blanks had been filled in by Silk when he had called her.

Hilde's eyes were wide, her mouth opening and closing without any sound. "You're wrong," she finally said. "Bo wouldn't do that kind of thing."

"He didn't have to. His friends did it for him. I want that list of names, Hilde."

"Bo has a number of friends," she stalled.

"Get me all of their names, then. I'll figure out which ones were responsible."

When he stood, she grabbed his arm, "What are you planning to do to them?"

"Are you going to call and warn them, the way you didn't warn Duo?"

Recoiling from the comment, she jerked her hand to her chest, "I was hurt and angry. I should have called Duo, but I guess I wanted him to be hurt, too."

Disgusted by the woman with her head bowed, he curled his top lip, "You got what you wanted, then. Duo was hurt, almost killed, because of you. Your hurt feelings almost caused his death, twice, and destroyed any pride he had. When he wakes up, the memories of what happened to him will haunt him for the rest of his life. Your pride was hurt, he almost died. You were angry because he didn't want to have sex with you, so you effectively ended any hopes for a normal life he could have had." Leaning down to her, he let her see the rage he had been concealing, "You were mad at him? I'm pissed. I'll find those that hurt him, and make them pay for what they did. I haven't decided what to do with you yet."

"Can…can I see him?"

Incredulous, he stood straight, wondering if she was plain stupid or simply had no sense of self-preservation. "If I find you or Bo within a hundred feet of Duo, I'll slit your throat and not feel guilty about it at all."


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 8

Stopping outside the locked ward, he checked the contents of his bags, hoping he had gotten everything he needed. Eager to see that his own bag had remained untouched in its hiding place, he pressed the buzzer, nodding to the nurse when she came to the glass. Not recognizing her, he held up his badge to the window, frowning when she smiled and opened the door for him without question.

A bit older than the nurses he had seen so far, she extended her hand after closing the door, her face matronly. "Do you need some help with those? You seem to have done quite a bit of shopping today."

"No, but one of the morning nurses said she would leave a water basin at the desk so I can wash Duo's hair," he said softly, gripping the handles of the bags tightly.

"You know we have shampoo here."

Seeing her peek into one of the bags he felt his face flame, "Duo has always been very particular about his hair. Knowing a generic product was being used on it would probably make him have a heart attack."

With a kind smile, the nurse began to lead the way to the nurses' station, "Mary, the morning nurse, got your basin and ordered dinner for you. She also left strict instructions we were not to wash Mr. Maxwell's hair. We weren't sure if it was just his hair you wanted to wash, so we didn't give him a sponge bath either. Would you like one of us to do that after you finish his hair?"

There could have been many reasons for his throat to clench shut, but he went with the thought of how Duo would feel to have someone's hands on him that he didn't know. Swallowing hard, he shook his head, "I'll take care of it after dinner."

After getting the basin and speaking to James for a few minutes, thanking the guard for watching over Duo while he was gone, Trowa quickly stored the items he had bought, taking only a moment to make sure his bag hadn't been tampered with before crossing to Duo's bed. Seeing the frail body tensed, he took the limp hand in his own, unaware he was smiling as Duo relaxed. He was aware the nurses wouldn't have seen how tense Duo had been – it had been such a small sign – but he felt that meant the unconscious man was closer to breaking through the bonds that tethered him in his own mind. "It won't be long before you come back, Duo. You're already so much stronger. I'll be with you tonight to help. I'm sorry it took me so long today. I ran into some…unexpected complications."

Instead of going into details, he picked up the book he had sat on the bed, one he had bought. "I'll tell you about my day later, once I'm sure we won't be disturbed. For now, I'm going to read to you, I hope you don't mind. I know you liked to read during the war, and I saw you with this book once. You told Heero it was your favorite." With one hand holding Duo's he began to softly read _Where the Red Fern Grows, _hoping the slight clenching on his hand meant Duo could hear.

The soft knock had him pausing, nodding as the nurse came in holding his dinner. "Just so you know, Mr. Barton, my name is Ellen. I'm the shift nurse on duty this week. It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard a lot about you today."

Not sure what to make of the statement, he kept quiet as Ellen placed his dinner on the small rolling table beside the bed. "Do you need a towel for his washing? We have some, but they are rather small. I'm afraid Mr. Maxwell's hair might be too much for one of them, but I might be able to find a larger one."

"I bought one." Trowa's eyes lingered over the mid-length hair, "You should have seen his hair before. It was much longer."

Lifting her eyebrows, she smiled warmly, "It must have been beautiful."

"It was," he admitted, then blushed, stunned at himself. "As far as towels go, he likes really fluffy ones, so I got one of those."

"I did bring a sponge and some soap that's gentle, unless you thought of that, as well." When he turned an even darker red, she laughed in delight. "Mr. Maxwell is a very lucky man."

Recalling where Duo's last name had come from, Trowa discovered he couldn't bear to hear it said constantly. "Duo, not Mr. Maxwell. He might respond better if he hears his name. Why is he lucky?"

"To have someone care for him so much, of course," Ellen remarked as she checked Duo's vital signs, then his fluids, making a note on a pad of paper before tucking it into her pocket. "It's a nice thing to see around here. Most of the other patients in this ward haven't had visitors in a long time."

He had never seen anyone in the ward that wasn't staff, but had paid little attention, most of his focus on Duo. "Why not?"

"Most of their family and friends gave up hope and stopped coming." Grey eyes wizened with age looked at him, "How long will you be here before giving up hope, Mr. Barton? A week, a month, a year?"

"I'm not leaving. Not until he can go with me." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Trowa blinked in surprise. He hadn't considered what would happen when Duo regained consciousness, realizing suddenly he meant exactly what he had said. "I don't have hope. I don't have to."

"You have to have something to hold onto, Mr. Barton, or all is lost." She turned her eyes to Duo sadly, head jerking when Trowa spoke fiercely, squeezing Duo's hand in his.

"I have faith in him. Hope is for the foolish, but I do have faith. Duo's stronger than this, and he gets stronger with every minute he holds on. That's what I'll hold on to."

Smiling at him strangely, she patted his hand where it gripped Duo's. "Perhaps that will be enough. Call for me if you need help bathing him."

Done eating, Trowa dug his computer out of his bag and perched on the side of the bed, where his side was in contact with Duo's legs. Opening his email, he sighed, "They really don't get the hint, to they?" he asked aloud after seeing the numerous messages sent by the former pilots, all demanding answers.

Deleting them without reading them, he focused on the two pieces of mail he thought important. Hilde had sent him a long list of names to check out, promising to get the rest to him the next day. Already used to filling the silence, he shook his head as the saved the list so he could do an in-depth search on the names later. "I don't know how you managed to live with that woman for two years. I can't decide if she's as stupid as she seems, or just so naïve it's pathetic. I can't forget how dedicated she was to you during the war – she did take a large risk on your behalf – but that can't make up for her being so petty." Duo's leg twitched and he let his hand rest there for a moment, kneading the muscle to help. "Maybe you think I'm being too harsh. Maybe I am, but she knew you were going to be hurt and did nothing to stop it. All it would have taken was a phone call to warn you."

Trowa frowned when he saw the clenched jaw muscles. Taking a guess at the cause, he ran a hand over Duo's forehead before returning it to the stiff calf muscle, "I won't hurt her, Duo. I didn't hurt her, thought I wanted to. I wanted to kill her. I killed before the war, you know. You find ways to survive, even if that means taking another life. I've hurt people that wanted to hurt me, but I didn't want to. It was necessary." With a sigh, he threaded his fingers with Duo's lax ones, eyes moving to the crisp white bandages. "I wanted to hurt her, could imagine cutting her and feeling no remorse. I've been called cold and heartless. Today was the first time I ever thought of killing and enjoyed the idea. I'm not cold, Duo. I'm not," he insisted, trying to convince both himself and the unconscious man. "I don't feel things strongly, but I do feel them. I was…mad she let you be hurt and wanted her to pay for that. I didn't hurt her because I didn't think you would want me to. You already knew what she had done – or not done, I suppose – and you did nothing to her. I can accept that. I don't understand it, but I can accept it. The men that hurt you are an entirely different matter. They will pay for what they did, I swear. Whether they die is something you need to decide, so you have to tell me what you want."

Dropping the topic for the moment, Trowa opened the mail Une had sent. With Noin's help, she had found several numbers for different members of the Sweeper's crew, including the one Trowa felt most important. "Duo, I need to make a call. I don't know if you want me to do that here, or go away. I'm calling Howard," he added, unsurprised when Duo's fingers clenched his tightly. "I guess that means you want me to stay."

The number only took seconds to dial, and much longer to get an answer. He was about to hang up when a gruff voice answered, thick with sleep. "Whaddya want? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

Glancing at his watch, Trowa lifted his brows, "Eight-thirty."

"More like two-thirty in the damn morning. This better be good."

"I didn't realize it was so late wherever you are, but I would have called anyway. I don't know if you remember me, but I worked with Duo during the war. My name is Trowa Barton."

Howard suddenly sounded wide awake, "I remember you. What's wrong with my boy?"

The abrupt change of attitude had Trowa fumbling for a second, finally managing, "I beg your pardon?"

"Don't have to beg me for anything. We barely know each other, Trowa. I've only met you a handful of times. Since it's insane to assume you're calling to chat, I think of one thing we have in common. What's wrong with my boy?"

Baffled by the strange man, Trowa shook his head. It was only a guess Howard was referring to Duo, so he considered a way to tell the man of 'his boy's' condition. "He's in a coma," he admitted eventually, finding no other way to say it.

"Where you at?"

"L2. Kerney Hospital."

"Shit. It'll take me three days to get there. I'm docked just on the other side of L4. What put Duo in a coma?"

"He did."

A snort of derision came clearly over the line, "Don't give me that crap. Duo doesn't do drugs and he doesn't have a drinking problem."

"He…used a knife. On himself."

"What did that bitch do to him now?"

"I don't think Hilde's done anything to him lately. They no longer live together."

During the sporadic times he had been around Howard, Trowa had seen him worried, serious, and joking. Now he was able to hear the other man very, very mad. "I've been leaving messages with that…bimbo for months. Last time Duo heard from me was before I took on a dangerous job that went a bit awry. If he hasn't gotten my messages, he probably thinks I'm dead, damnit."

Having another thing to hold against the raven-haired female, Trowa felt acid churning in his belly. Because of Hilde's hurt feelings she had failed to deliver an extremely important message. "I promised Duo I wouldn't kill her," he confessed flatly, not caring if Howard thought him insane for talking to the comatose man.

"I didn't make a promise. It would hurt Duo, so I'll let it go for now. Are you with him?"

"Right beside him." It wasn't necessary to say he was sitting on Duo's bed.

"This might be a little weird," Howard paused. "Can you put the phone up to his ear and give me three or four minutes? He might be able to hear me."

Thinking of his own sojourns into Duo's mind, Trowa smiled, "That doesn't sound weird to me at all. I'll hold the phone so he can hear, starting now."

Holding the phone to Duo's ear, Trowa kept an eye on the clock, letting the older man have a total of four and a half minutes to make his point. Removing the phone, he put it to his own ear, "I'm here, Howard."

"Okay, okay," the other man sounded like he was trying to catch his breath. "I'm gonna be on my way as soon as I can. You'll stay with him, right, Trowa?"

"I'm not going anywhere," Trowa stated. Looking up he caught his own reflection in the mirror, shocked by the determination that lit his eyes.

"Do you think he heard me?" Howard asked, pulling his attention to Duo, more than happy to look away from his visage in the mirror. What he saw on the American's face had him jerking so hard he nearly knocked his computer off the bed.

"He heard you," he whispered, awed.

"How do you know?"

Holding the phone between his shoulder and ear, Trowa touched Duo's cheek lightly with his fingertips, gathering the single tear that had fallen. "I just know."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

Thanks to everyone for their great reviews and encouragement! I'm so thrilled everyone seems to like this so far. Here we go!

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 9

Questions he needed answered clamored for attention, somehow overpowering the accusing voices. Questions he couldn't answer for himself battered at him, relentless but not with the agonizing hatred of the voices slowly trying to drive him deeper into the depths of darkness.

There was still no sense of time in his gloomy prison, but he understood it had only been days since he had been trapped, though the time seemed to pass so slowly. He realized each time the voices lifted for some time, he could hear what was going on in the outside world. Each time the voices became muffled there was the sense of a constant and soothing presence – with him, yet not. It wasn't like when Trowa was actually in his head, speaking to him while the voices hounding him fading to a whisper, but he could hear that calm voice, reassuring him gently. The touches he felt could have been created by his mind, needing some contact with someone that seemed to care, but that was okay. Any assurance was welcome in this pit of agony and despair – each sensation helping him to hold on and rebel against the damned determined to drive him insane.

Assured no one else would enter the room until after two am, when they came to take Duo's vitals for the night, Trowa moved around the room, gathering items and absently running a non-stop commentary about the book he was reading to Duo, the quality of cafeteria food, the surprising kindness of the hospital staff, and anything else to keep his mind off what he was about to do.

Letting the basin fill with water, Trowa lowered the end of the bed where Duo's head rested and removed the pillow, replacing it with one of the three thick towels he had bought. "I honesty have no idea what I'm doing, so if I mess up, you can't be mad at me later. The only person's hair I've ever washed is my own," he added, getting the basin and setting it on the table he had moved around the bed, taking a moment to situate it among the various items he had already placed there.

"I've never had to use conditioner. My hair is very fine. I remember you once said if you didn't use conditioner you couldn't get a brush through your hair, so I bought some. I guess I need to start by brushing it. This might take a while," he noted as he carefully lifted the other man's head to pull out the clumps of hair. "It's really tangled. I wonder what happened to your rubber band? I know you had one when…I saw you in my dream. I mean, I guess you did. Your hair wasn't hanging all over your shoulders."

How long it took to get the snarls out of Duo's hair he didn't know. Finishing that, he discovered the water was cold and poured it out, refilling it with warm water. Using his hands, he wet Duo's hair, then lathered it thoroughly, finding it oddly soothing to massage the other man's scalp with his fingers. Rinsing was a more difficult task, making him wish he could simply carry Duo to the shower in the bathroom. Eventually, he located a cup and used that to pour warm water over the dark hair, holding it so it would drain into the basin, though some liquid dripped onto the floor.

Pleased when all the suds were out, he repeated the undertaking with conditioner, reading the directions before starting. "I'm supposed to leave this on for a few minutes, so I guess I'll just talk." Realizing he had been talking the entire time, he chuckled, blinking at the strange sound when it came out of his mouth. "I mean I'll talk some more. Do you know I haven't talked this much in a long time? When I was young I learned the hard way to keep my thoughts to myself. It's a lesson I never forgot. Somewhere along the way, I stopped feeling very much too. I have emotions, but they aren't usually strong. When you wake up maybe you can explain why I don't feel strongly about things. It never really bothered me before, honestly. It could have happened so gradually I didn't notice until it was too late."

Seeing that four minutes had passed, he began the painstaking process of rinsing Duo's hair again. "I hope you'll tell me why you cut your hair. It's not short now. It's shorter than it was before, but it's still beautiful." His eyes widened at his own comment. Assuming no one could hear him, he gave a shrug. "It really is beautiful. I'd like to see it down one day, when you're awake."

Using the towel to remove the majority of the moisture, he fell silent for a few minutes, rearranging his thoughts so they didn't seem so disjointed. The handle of a new brush in his hand, he gave a long sigh. "I don't understand why I'm so careful about what I say. Maybe I feel like I can talk to you because you won't judge me, or hold things against me. I know you can hear at least part of what I say," he frowned, pulling the brush through Duo's hair. "I'd ask you at night but time is a factor. We don't have much time for me to learn what I need to know."

Trowa froze, the brush mid-way down the length of hair as he realized he was not only willing to jump into Duo's mind, but was actually looking forward to speaking to the other man and receiving a reply. "Good God, maybe I am crazy. It's like I'm starting to think of this as some sort of fucked-up relationship. Don't worry. I know I'm here to help you get better and that's it. I'd like to be able to see you occasionally once you're well, though. I enjoy having someone to talk to. It might be nice to have you talk to me, too."

Forcing his hand to move, he swallowed hard, wondering what in the hell was wrong with him. Keeping his tone light was an effort, but he managed. "I can't promise how good this braid will look when I'm finished, but I'll do my best."

It took a while to complete a task he assumed Duo would have no problems with, but he eventually wrapped a new hair band around the end and inspected his work with a critical eye. "Not too bad for my first try," he commented, hoping the other man would agree.

After cleaning up the things he had already used, Trowa stood beside the bed and took Duo's hand. "This is going to be really weird, considering the things I said a little while ago, but I'm going to wash you off, Duo. I thought you would prefer me do this than a stranger, but you can be mad later if you want. There is nothing sexual involved with this, I swear."

Letting Duo's hand rest on the sheets, he carefully untied the hospital gown and pooled it around the lean waist, inhaling sharply when he saw how prominent Duo's ribs and collarbone were. Glad for something to focus on, he ran the moist sponge over the frail arms and neck. "How did you get so skinny, Duo? You're practically skin and bones. You haven't been eating, have you? It's going to take some time to get your strength back – your physical strength, that is. You don't need to worry about anything else. You were always stronger than me."

He rambled to keep his mind on what he was doing, though he did once have an abrupt and frightening thought he barely kept from speaking aloud. Even with the apparent malnutrition, Duo was still beautiful. The notion was banished as he gave his attention to scars that seemed more recent. Toweling the man's chest, Trowa paused long enough to run his fingers over the pink marks of raised flesh. "This is from what they did," he muttered, more determined than ever to see that the men that had harmed Duo would pay.

Duo tensed at his words, "I'll find out who they are, Duo. I'm already working on a list of names, but it would really help if I knew what they looked like, or how many of them there were."

Turning to more cheerful matters, Trowa began to relate stories the staff had told him, tossing in a few jokes occasionally. The bathing of Duo's lower half was done hastily, his words tripping over themselves in his rush to hurry. Tossing the gown onto the floor, he put a clean one, not sure how his face could be so red without him passing out.

Yanking the blankets up to make sure long legs were concealed, he replaced the pillow under Duo's head, then spent several minutes cleaning the room, hoping his heart rate would eventually return to normal. Abruptly realizing how exhausted he was, he gave the cot a sneer. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he stared down at the sleeping man. "You have no idea how uninviting that cot looks right now. If you had more room I could just sleep with you." Comprehending how that sounded, he corrected himself, "I didn't mean sleep with you that way. Not like lovers." Amazed he was blushing again, he shook his head.

For once hoping Duo couldn't hear him babble, he tried another explanation, "I think we have to be touching to talk to one another. I wasn't able to hear you until I went to sleep holding your hand. I'll try my best to keep your hand in mine while I sleep, but I want you to know I haven't left if you can't hear me. I'm going to take a shower, and then I'll try to come into your dream."

He showered quickly, fatigue nipping at his heels the entire time. Dressed in a t-shirt and sweatpants he pushed open the bathroom door and gaped. He was certain Duo had been in the center of the bed when he had gone to take a shower, with room on either side of his body.

But, if that was true, how had the unconscious man moved across the bed to become pressed to the metal railing on one side, leaving enough room for Trowa to lie down beside him?"

The instant the cacophony of voices fell to a whisper, his head shot up, eyes opening though he knew there was nothing to see. Almost afraid to hope, he spoke softly into the blackness. "Trowa?"

Feeling someone squeeze his hand, he flexed his own to discover nothing. "I'm here, Duo. I don't know how long we have before I wake up."

Hearing the warning, he knew he needed to hurry and ask his questions, starting with the most important. "Did I really hear Howard?"

It was strange how he could hear the smile in Trowa's voice when he had never seen the tall man smile before. "Howard is alive and well, and on his way from L4 to see you. He knew something was wrong when I called."

"I thought he was dead. I was supposed to go with him, but Hilde didn't want me to go. I heard about the accident and believed the worst."

"Hilde didn't pass his messages to you, Duo. He's been trying to get in touch with you. He'll be here in a few days."

Miraculously, the din of voices grew just a little quieter. Not trusting his own ears, he asked, "Do you hear?"

"It's quieter now."

"You hear them?"

Warmth surrounded him, protecting him from the cold of the void. "I hear them. Duo, I need to ask you about…the assault."

The need to avoid the query was great, but there was nowhere to go. "I don't want to talk about it," he insisted as memories filled his mind.

"You don't have to," Trowa's voice was a low growl, filled with anger.

"I'm sorry. I'll tell you. Please don't leave me alone," the plea was instant, fearing being abandoned by the one kind voice he had. "Don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you my…friend. You don't have to tell me because I can see it, I can see their faces. It's all I needed."

The concept was strange and frightening. "I'm trapped in my own head," he stated dully, depressed he would do this to himself. Did he think he deserved this torment?

"You are, but not alone. Not anymore. I'll help you fight the darkness."

Slowly the voices began to rise in volume, proving his respite was almost at an end. "You saw Hilde?"

"I did. I don't like her very much, Duo."

His soft laugh sounded oddly empty in his prison. "I heard you earlier. She didn't use to be that way."

"She knew you were going to be hurt and did nothing to stop it. She knew Howard was safe but didn't tell you. She was never good enough for you."

Wondering at the other man's tone, he focused on what he had to ask, "Where are the guys? They're all…okay?"

"Angry with me, but otherwise fine. They won't bother you until you're ready to see them. I'll make sure they won't hurt you again." The heat along his side shifted for a moment before settling back, making him sigh. "They're worried about you and sorry they didn't do anything before. They have a while before I'm ready to accept any apologies for what they did."

Worry helped him ignore the voices. "I don't want you to hurt your friendship with them because of me, Trowa. I don't want you hurt because of me."

Trowa's tone was oddly introspective, "I'm not that close…to them. I never have been."

"You're afraid to let anyone in, aren't you? Maybe that's best. If you don't let anyone get close they can't hurt you."

Accusations and insults surrounded him again, but not before he heard Trowa's last words. "Apparently I'm not afraid to let at least one person close. I hope you won't hurt me, Duo."

The sound around him was softer, yet no less harsh. Closing his eyes he sighed as the warmth faded, his resolve to fight firming in his mind. Trowa believed in him to be strong enough to defeat the devils in his own heart and mind.

He wouldn't let his…friend…down.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 10

It was a surprise to wake normally for the first time in days. That didn't mean he woke slowly – there was an instant awareness of where he was and who lay beside him – but he didn't experience the heart-stopping panic from his past sleeping attempts. He was just as shocked to realize he was no longer tired, the sleep helping rejuvenate him.

Completely revived, Trowa allowed himself a few minutes to remain on the bed, one long arm stretched across the other man's waist and gripping the hand there as if to anchor Duo to him. Knowing he shouldn't be reveling in the situation, he took guilty pleasure in breathing in the clean scent of Duo's hair and skin.

Suddenly shamed, he opened his eyes, "I must be really sick," he muttered as he searched Duo's face for some sign of wakefulness. Finding none, he climbed from the bed, taking care to pull the blankets up around the man, remembering how much Duo hated to be cold. While he took care of his bathroom ritual, he realized he recalled more than he had thought about the former pilot of Deathscythe, wondering where and when he had stored the random information. He knew Duo abhorred the cold and lima beans, knew Duo preferred strawberries over any other fruit, even knew what shampoo the violet-eyed man liked to use.

Standing at the head of the bed, he gazed at the man he was trying to help, not daring to touch the pale skin with his mind running in such abstract directions. "Everyone always said pizza was your favorite food," he mused. "It's not. It's what you ate most often because you can get it anywhere, but it's not your favorite. You said your favorite food was corn. Plain, regular corn." Trowa could remember Duo biting into an ear of corn, eyes laughing as juices ran down his chin. "How do I remember that?" he asked finally, more than a little panicked at the implications seeping into his brain.

Questioning his own sanity, he absently ran his fingers down Duo's arm before covering it, resting his hand on Duo's chest. "There has to be something wrong with me," he stated firmly, eyes focusing on the window where the grey light of early morning was barely visible. "I couldn't have felt something for you all this time without being aware of it, could I? If I had harbored some sort of attraction I would have known," he insisted, wishing he really believed his own words.

Deciding it was best to think of something else – anything else – he collected his computer and sat on the edge of the bed. Opening the file Hilde had sent of Bo's friends, he used the Preventers database to do a search on each name, shaking his head when he found most had records with the local office, ranging from breaking and entering to assault with a deadly weapon. Most of the names were deleted from the list as Trowa used the images in his own mind, received from Duo during their dream-discussion. "There's a weird thought," he mumbled as he opened the next file. "Must be my day for weird and disturbing."

Disturbed was his next emotion as a face appeared on the screen, one Duo had remembered looming over him. "Jason Whitaker." The man was a few years older than Duo and Trowa, hair shorn close to his ears in the booking photo, brown eyes staring into the camera. "There you are," hissed Trowa, able to recognize the first of three men he was searching for.

Opening a new file, he saved the photo and all the other pertinent information he could find for Jason Whitaker. Eventually he found a list of the people Whitaker was known to associate with. Some of the names were on the lists Hilde had given him, but there were five more that were new, one of them very familiar. "What do we have here?" Trowa asked as he opened a file belonging to Bo Whitaker, Jason's younger brother.

"Hilde said Bo wouldn't hurt anyone. Either she's very naïve or he hides his violent side very well. Assault, breaking and entering, possession of a deadly weapon, and grand theft auto are the main crimes he's been charged with. I don't have a problem with most of those – we've all done things we aren't proud of – but the assault charge was filed because he beat up his girlfriend. Charges were eventually dropped when the woman disappeared. I don't know about you, but that seems convenient, doesn't it?"

Reading more of the man Hilde had replaced Duo with, Trowa discovered something far more worrying than the disappearance of one person. "Bo was suspected of armed robbery where at least a dozen people were killed. Hilde has no idea who she's dealing with. He's wanted for questioning in a case where a couple was mutilated and their teenage daughter decapitated. Damn," he hissed, stunned at the level of brutality, "there was forensic evidence the girl was raped by more than one person, Duo. Three separate semen samples were collected during her autopsy."

Feeling how tense Duo had grown, Trowa stroked the shining hair, setting the computer aside when that didn't dispel the taut muscles. Understanding why the other man had become so rigid, Trowa put aside his own worries about his feelings and climbed onto the bed, pulling Duo close and whispering into his ear, "They'll pay for their crimes, Duo. For every person they caused pain, I'll make them wish they hadn't."

It took some time for Duo to relax in Trowa's embrace, the stiff muscles loosening slowly until they were lax once more. Trowa continued to speak in soothing tones even after Duo had calmed. Seeing it was almost time for the morning nurse to check on Duo, he untangled himself and got up. "I don't like Hilde much, but I can't let her stay with Bo. He's dangerous. Getting her to listen to me is going to be the main problem." Frowning, he retrieved his computer and studied the file, searching for a way to help the annoying woman that was turning out to be a huge pain in the ass.

Although he couldn't stand the woman, he admitted he couldn't let anyone be hurt if he was aware of danger, and so he couldn't let her be harmed because of her own foolishness and petty jealousy. As the morning nurse, Mari, came in to check on Duo, he paid closer attention to the file, finally finding what he needed.

Glancing up, he discovered the young woman's eyes on him. Reaching for his newly found conversation skills, he nodded in greeting, "Good morning, Mari."

"Good morning, Mr. Barton," she replied with a smile. "You look much better than you did yesterday. You were able to sleep better last night?"

He could feel his face warm under her watchful eyes. "I did. It was more restful than before."

"Would you like us to remove the cot? There would be more free space in the room, and you don't seem to be using it."

His face went from a low flame to searing heat, thinking of the staff seeing him as he slept curled around Duo. "I think that's a good idea, as long as no one minds," he agreed quietly, knowing he would sleep in the same bed as Duo as long as he could use that as a way to help his…friend.

"No one minds," Mari assured as she wrapped Duo's arms. "We actually find it very sweet."

The comment should have bothered him, and he should have asserted he and Duo were just friends. It seemed pointless in light of his own continued actions and the way he constantly hovered while the staff was in the room. "How are his arms?"

"Healing nicely. They should be completely healed in another week. If they aren't, Dr G will put off the surgery until they are."

"Is there anything I can do to help? He's already lost so much weight," he stated, shaking his head at how frail Duo seemed.

"We can't do much. Mr. Maxwell – Duo – was incredibly underweight when he was brought in, but there are some exercises you can do to help him from losing more muscle mass. Also, at night you can turn him onto his side. As long as you support him, that is. It should prevent bed sores from forming, just be careful with his IV's," she indicated the array of tubes that entered Duo's body, both providing him with the nutrients he needed to live and removing the waste from his body.

"Do you have time to show me the exercises?"

"I do. Our patients aren't very demanding," Mari joked, her smile sad.

She walked him through the steps to exercise Duo's arms and legs, correcting him when he made an error. When they were done, he stepped back, "If you feel comfortable, you can massage his chest and back to help those muscles, too. It isn't great, but it's the best we can do under the circumstances. As long as he wakes fairly soon, there shouldn't be any further loss. It's going to take some physical therapy to get Duo back to where he should be."

"Do you know how he got in such bad shape to begin with? It really has been a long time since I saw him before this. He's always had a problem keeping weight on, and he ate several small meals a day to combat that. I assumed he had a high metabolism. He could never be still."

"When he was brought into the emergency room, they pumped his stomach to make sure he hadn't ingested anything dangerous. All they found was liquor, but not enough to make him drunk." After a quick look at her tablet, Mari shook her head, "Duo was tested for a variety of diseases, both universal ones and ones regulated to L2. Other than the severe malnutrition, he was in perfect health. Dr. G said it looked like he simply stopped eating."

Trowa turned this over in his mind, wishing he could feel reassured by it. Lowering his voice, he asked, "Do you know about the incident that happened last year?"

"He was treated here then, as well."

"Are there any…side-effects, physical ones, I need to be aware of?" Casting his eyes at Duo, he saw the slight tensing and silently apologized.

"He healed well from the incident, on the outside. Physically, he doesn't have any after effects other than the scars I'm sure you've already seen. It doesn't seem that he healed too well mentally, though, does it?" She gazed at the sleeping man sadly.

"There were a number of things that led to this," Trowa stated, hand covering Duo's in support. "Do you think the police know anything?"

"You would have to ask them. Because of who he is, more than one sector was working the case. I need to finish my rounds now."

"Thank you for the extra time. I need to go out for a little while today. I should be back before dinner."

Moving toward the door, Mari nodded in understanding, "I'll see if James is working today for you, then. That is who you prefer to watch over Duo, right?"

"Yes. Thanks again."

"It's no problem, Mr. Barton. Will you be staying for breakfast, or do you need to leave soon?"

Wanting to tell Duo of his plans, he nodded, "I'll stay for breakfast. Is there a printer I can use anywhere?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 11

Down the street from the salvage yard yet again, Trowa waited for Hilde to make the trip to get lunch. He wasn't disappointed when she finally came out of the office, more subdued than she had been the day before. He couldn't help being amused at the way she constantly looked around, likely searching for him.

When he fell into step beside her, he thought she was going to faint. "I told you I would get the names. I did my part. It's not easy to get Bo to talk openly around me, you know."

"He hides things and you don't see that as a warning?" Shaking his head before she could reply, he focused on his original task. "Do you really think he wouldn't hurt you?"

"I know he won't. He's not some monster," she slanted her eyes, telling her opinion of him.

"I could be a monster, but not like Bo Whitaker."

At the mouth of the tunnel she stopped with a frown, "I never told you his name. Duo didn't know it, either."

"What do you know of his brother, Jason?"

"Bo doesn't have a brother. Jason White is his best friend," she corrected with a roll of her eyes, moving forward.

It was obvious he wouldn't be able to talk sense into the mule-headed woman, but he tried anyway. "Jason Whitaker and Bo Whitaker are brothers with a long history of crime." Walking with her, he gave her a fast re-cap of the police reports, making sure she knew of the suspected bank robbery and murders. He finally finished with, "Several sector police wanted to bring Bo and Jason in for questioning, but the brothers apparently disappeared about eight months ago."

"I don't believe you. Are you really so mad at me you would make this up, hoping I'll break up with Bo and take Duo back?"

Wordlessly, he pulled the folded papers from his jacket pocket and handed them to her. At first she sneered at him but as she began to read, her disbelief began to fade, "Wh-where did you get these?" she stared at the arrest records for the brothers in her hands, unable to dispute it was a picture of her boyfriend staring back at her.

"L2 branch of the Preventers. It's where details of all crimes committed on the colony are stored since the population here moves so often from one sector to another. It's the only way to make sure the information can easily be accessed by another colony if it's needed." Unfortunately, there weren't enough personnel to pursue every criminal that lived on the colonies.

"How did you get access to these files?"

Not mentioning he was well-versed in how to hack government files, he heaved a breath, "I'm a Preventer. I have the authorization to look through any colony records. I printed this straight from the database and brought them to you. I've had no time to tamper with them, as you can see from the time stamp," he indicated the date and time printed at the bottom of each page.

She finally began to believe the things he said. "Why did you tell me about this? Why do you care what happens to me?"

"I don't. Duo, on the other hand, would want you to be safe." Narrowing his eyes, he added, "I don't want you near Duo. To me, on the same colony is too close to you, but it'll have to do until he's ready to go home."

"Home? This is Duo's home," she frowned up at him.

"This place has too many bad memories," he hedged.

Moving out of the tunnel she stared at him, then laughed harshly, "You want him to go home with you. That should be interesting."

"I want him safe and better, and a million miles away from you," his voice was calm.

"You realize he'll never care about you. I don't think he's capable of caring for someone that way. How will you react when you figure out you wasted a good part of your life for nothing? You'll do the same thing I did."

Threateningly, he stepped toward her, smiling mockingly when she cringed away from him. "If I had been you, I would have been grateful for every day that I had someone willing to waste so much of their time with me," he hissed, turning before he gave in to the urge to punch her.

Less than ten feet away, he stopped when she placed herself in his path, studying him with wide eyes. "My God, you're in love with him."

"We're friends, that's all."

"Tell yourself that all you want to, but I can see it in your eyes." Looking down, she stared at the crumpled papers in her hand. "What do I do about this?"

"He's at the salvage yard office?" Trowa asked after getting his mind on the right track. Seeing her small nod, he kept his voice low. "Don't go back for a while, or find something to do in the yard with the other workers. I'm going to the police to see what I can learn about the attack on Duo. They have evidence that leads to Bo and his brother. I'm going to tell the police where Bo is."

Wishing he could leave it at that, he almost groaned. Duo would want the foolish, stupid woman protected. "I'll see if the police will keep an eye on you for a while, in case Jason Whitaker decides to come looking for Bo."

"What if they don't?"

"Then I'll set up protection through the Preventers." Doing so would make Trowa use up a number of favors he had gathered over the years, but Duo's peace of mind was worth it.

As he began to walk away, Hilde called out a warning, "If I can see it, Duo will too. I don't know how he'll react, Trowa."

Acknowledging this with a nod he continued to walk in the direction the sector police was located in. Safely away from where she would see him, he whispered to himself, "I'll just have to be grateful for the time I do have."

"There's been no progress on the case at all?" Trowa raised an eyebrow at the sergeant that sat across the desk, stunned. "Not even one more piece of evidence that gave you a clue to the identification of the assailants?"

"Mr. Maxwell was in no shape to speak after the attack," the man that had introduced himself as Sergeant Norton defended. "We have the evidence collected at the hospital, but that's all."

"No follow-up interview was conducted?" Trowa flipped through the pages of the report, frowning deeply. "No interview at all?"

Jowls shaking, the sergeant glared at Trowa. "The hospital wouldn't let us in to see him, stating his wounds were too severe. The men that worked the case waited, but it didn't seem that important at the time."

"When did it begin to seem important? When you discovered who Duo Maxwell was?"

"Listen, this kind of thing happens all the time in that sector. Usually it's some hooker that got more than she bargained for. That type doesn't like to talk to us."

Aghast at what he heard, Trowa glared across the desk until the man started to shift nervously, sweat beading on his forehead. "Do you believe they asked for what was done to them?"

"One of the dangers of the trade. They know the risks."

"What about getting the predators off the street and behind bars where they belong? Isn't that more effective than letting them hurt innocent people constantly?"

"I don't know what your problem is. It's not our fault Maxwell looked like a hooker."

The man emitted a terrified squeak when Trowa grabbed him by the collar and yanked his considerable bulk from his chair. "Choose your next words carefully, Sergeant. Duo Maxwell is a very good friend of mine," he stated softly, imagining shoving the man out the dirty glass window behind him.

"I-I-I didn't…mean that the way it sounded."

As the other man's eyes bulged with fear, Trowa released him quickly, sneering as the sergeant fell back into his chair with a huff. "What did you mean to say, then?"

"The men assigned to the case assumed it was a case of mistaken identity. The attackers likely thought Maxwell was…someone else."

Seething with rage, Trowa pulled himself back with an effort. "You still have the evidence from the hospital?"

Watching him warily, Norton nodded quickly, spittle forming at the corners of his mouth. "Three semen samples, a few strands of hair in different colors, some fibers and blood that didn't belong to your friend. We have nothing to match them to."

"Have you located Bo or Jason Whitaker yet?"

The man consulted his computer, then frowned at Trowa. "They are both wanted for unrelated crimes, but neither has been located. You think they did this?"

"Bo gave the order. Jason was one of the men that attacked Duo."

"From everything I've seen, Jason is the leader," the sergeant argued.

Trowa had his doubts that either brother was the leader of the group. The Whitakers seemed to be more focused on the pain they could cause. "Bo was the one that issued this order, but he was unable to participate because he was with Duo's former girlfriend. I don't believe in coincidences, Sergeant."

The other man nodded grudgingly. "When we have them in custody we can take DNA for comparison in your friend's case, as well as the other cases still open where they are wanted for questioning. This doesn't help us find either one of them."

Grabbing a small notepad sitting beside the phone, Trowa wrote the address of the salvage yard. "Bo Whitaker will be here until the end of the workday. His girlfriend, who owns the salvage yard, knew nothing of this until I told her. I want her protected. This means putting her under surveillance until Jason Whitaker is found. I will not be happy if she is harmed, Sergeant." Thinking fast, he wrote another address. "This is Hilde's home address and phone number. There should be a number of calls between the brothers you can trace."

The sergeant was already dialing the phone before Trowa had risen from his seat. Before opening the door, he turned and got the other man's attention, "Sergeant, I don't want what happened to Duo out in the open. You make your arrests and quickly and quietly close the file, do you understand?"

"If Bo Whitaker wasn't one of the men that attacked your friend, closing the file will leave two more men out there."

"I'll take care of them. Close the file. I want you to call me the second you have both of the brothers in custody."

"I suppose you want to be included in the interrogation?"

Knowing he would kill the men if he saw them, Trowa shook his head. "Just call me."

Almost silence. Baffled momentarily by the sense of calm, he blinked and then sighed, "Hello, Trowa."

"It seems quieter now."

The observation had him smiling. It had taken a long time to figure out why it had gotten noticeably quieter, but he had nothing but time in the void. "Howard's voice is gone. So are Hilde's, Heero's, Quatre's and Wufei's."

"What about mine?"

"You were never one of them. I wondered why at the beginning, but I think I'm starting to understand now."

"What do you understand?"

His time limited, he opted to wait. "Some of the people from my past are gone, too. I had to accept that what happened to them wasn't my fault."

Trowa seemed to hesitate, curious, but was willing to let it go. "I'm glad for you. It won't be long before you come back."

Remembering the depression he had been wallowing in, he wasn't sure he wanted to come back. "What if I do get out of this, Trowa? Do I really want to go back to the life I had before, waiting and waiting for someone to care? Eating and living and sleeping alone? Why can't I stay here? It's not so bad with some of the voices gone."

Warmth instantly surrounded him, so hot it almost burned, yet he welcomed it. "It doesn't have to be that way, Duo. You don't have to be alone."

"Then with who? Hilde wanted more from me than I could give. No one else wants me around."

"You can stay with me," Trowa offered, his voice thick. "I wouldn't mind if you stayed with me."

"For how long?"

"Forever. Until you're ready to leave."

Wondering at the first response, he sighed sadly when the warmth abated slightly. "What if I decide I never want to leave?"

"I…get tired of being alone, Duo. You could stay with me as long as you wanted."

Choosing to think it over later, he changed the topic again, "Hilde's safe?"

"Yes. I don't know if you heard, but Bo's been arrested. His brother was one of the ones that hurt you." He frowned as a man's face came to mind. "That's his brother, Jason," offered Trowa softly. "They've both been arrested."

There were two more men and he thought of them for only an instant. "Everyone will know what happened, what I let happen," he mused sadly.

"No one will know. I've made sure of it. Your file has been closed, Duo, and sealed under Preventer's authority. Only I and Une have the access to your file, and she's erasing it from the database. Only a hard copy will remain in her hands." Trowa paused for a moment, the warmth coming back to fill him. "You didn't let that happen, just like what happened in the past wasn't your fault."

"I could have stopped them. I could have fought them. Maybe I didn't because I was so tired of being alone."

"You had no chance against them, and you know it. They've done the same thing before, Duo. They had practice. They knew how to catch you by surprise, and they watched you to see when you would be the most vulnerable. You did fight them."

"No, I didn't. I just let it happen." He frowned, trying to figure out why his shoulder felt wet. "It happened over and over when I was asleep. I never fought then, either."

"You did fight. When you were taken to the hospital, some of the blood wasn't yours. You fought." Hearing the hoarse quality of Trowa's assurance, he felt somehow comforted, not so bothered by the voices as they returned.

Less like thunder and more like a swarm of angry bees, the mockery circled around and battered at him, pressing in on all sides of him, but unable to get inside his mind. Feeling the warmth fade, he repeated, "I fought."


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHITNG THE DARKNESS – PART 12

Aware of the moisture on his face, Trowa sat up and dried his eyes, trying to recall the last time he had cried as he stared at the liquid on his hand. It had been so long ago he couldn't remember a single time he had allowed his emotions that kind of free reign and was baffled about what was happening to him.

Seeing the sky was already beginning to brighten, he glanced at his watch where it lay on the table, stunned to discover it was after eight in the morning. With little time before morning rounds, he smoothed Duos hair away from the sleeping face, smiling the same small smile Duo wore when he saw it.

Resting his hand on Duo's cheek, Trowa's smile faded with the memory of Hilde's words. "I don't want her to be right. It's not just because I don't like her, although that's part of it. I'm scared I feel more than I should for you. For now, I can take all of these little things that seem so insignificant like washing your hair and reading to you. I can enjoy all those things without having to worry about your reaction. You can't exactly go anywhere, can you?"

Burdened by the way he felt, he picked up Duo's hand and kissed the palm, being careful of the IV in Duo's wrist. "When you wake up, I'll still be here for you, Duo. I'll always be here for you, but I'll back away. I'll go back to what I was before coming here and discovering all these things about myself. If you go home with me, I promise to be the perfect friend and roommate." The vow almost got stuck in his throat. "I'll never ask for more from you the way Hilde did. Being with you will be enough. Not being alone anymore will be enough. It has to be enough."

When the nurse came by fifteen minutes later, one that Trowa hadn't met before, he was already dressed for the day and was gently moving Duo from his side to his back again. "Good morning. You must be Mr. Barton," she said while shaking his hand so vigorously he thought it would fall off. Her attention quickly focused on Duo, "And this is Mr. Maxwell. Oh, my. He is a gorgeous thing, isn't he, even so pale. I've heard rumors about how attractive he is. It seems the rumors were right," she babbled as she checked the fluids feeding into Duo's body.

Her pink uniform, bubbly personality and annoying voice had Trowa thinking of Relena. He blinked when he saw the dual braids at her temples, combined at the back of her head in Relena's signature style. The almost uncanny resemblance had him disliking the woman before she began to speak again.

"I wish I had met him before all this. I bet he was an interesting man to spend an evening with," she practically leered at Duo as she unwrapped the bandages. "I sure wish he'd open those peepers. I bet he's a real ladies' man, isn't he? Is he one of those men that has a new girl every night, or is he the serious type? Would I have a chance with him if he wakes up?"

With an undeniable desire to choke the woman with her own hair, Trowa stood with his hands flexing into fists several times before he could form an answer. "His last relationship lasted for several years."

Cheeks rosy, she beamed at him in delight. "Golly, you mean he's single? Hopefully, he'll wake up soon. I'd love to see if the gossip about his eyes is true. I've heard they are an amazing shade of blue. If he feels okay when he wakes up, I can give him a personal and private tour of the physical therapy room and showers. It's amazing how much privacy there is down there, absolutely amazing."

Swearing if he heard the word amazing again in the next two minutes he was going to throw the woman out the window, he cleared his throat. "Violet."

She blinked at him, apparently surprised at the curt tone. "Violet what?"

"His eyes aren't blue. They're violet."

"Really," the nurse purred, her smile focusing on Duo's face. "Isn't that absolutely amaz - "

"Bobbi, what are you doing in here? I left specific instructions you weren't to bother this patient," Ellen strode in the door, face set in a frown that deepened the lines on her face. Trowa thought she looked like someone's pissed-off grandmother.

Unaware her life had been spared by the interruption, Bobbi-the-nurse gushed, "Come on, Ellen. I had to see if he was as tasty in person as I've heard. Tell me he doesn't make your heart go pitter-pat."

Turning from the annoying nurse, Ellen gave Trowa a pained smile, "How are you this morning, Trowa? Did you both sleep well?"

"We did, yes. Shouldn't you be gone already?" he had grown quite fond of the older woman during his short stay there.

"I was on my way out when I heard this one," she jerked a thumb at the blonde, obviously annoyed.

"It's not a big deal. I was just gonna take care of his bath before I moved on to the other patients."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Ellen stared Bobbi down. "You do not touch this patient. When Mari gets here, she'll take care of his needs, like she's been doing."

In a whiny tone reminiscent of Relena's, Bobbi rolled her eyes and simpered, "What's it gonna hurt if I do his bath? He's not gonna know." Turning her gaze to Trowa, she smiled charmingly, not fooling him for a second. "I'm sure you don't mind if I take care of your buddy, right? When he wakes up you can let him know how a nurse got all hot and bothered when she washed him off. I'll do a really good job."

At the end of his patience, already strung tight by his own problems, he let his anger show, "If you attempt to put your hands on him, I'll break them."

Bobbi began to laugh, abruptly quieting when she saw he was serious. "Jeez, I didn't plan to be mean or anything. I was just gonna wash him. No one's done it since he came in."

Fervently hoping she hadn't been the one to touch the unconscious man, Trowa clenched his hand around the railing and ground out his words. "No one's washed him except me."

"When you get tired of it, I'll take over."

"For God's sake, Bobbi. Do yourself a favor and shut up," groaned Ellen as she eyed Trowa's knuckles warily, turning white from the grip on the support rail. "Go take care of the other patients. If I find out you came back in here, I'll fire you myself, girl. You got that?"

Pouting, Bobbi nodded. Trowa couldn't let her leave before asking one thing. "Are you trying to look like Relena Darlian?"

"She's my absolute idol. I try to be just like her."

"You're doing a good job. She's completely nuts, too."

The annoying nurse barely managed to get out the door – with Ellen dragging her by the arm - before Mari bustled in, bearing his breakfast on a tray. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I heard Bobbi was here. She didn't manage to cop a feel or anything, did she?"

"She might have if I hadn't been here. I wasn't…happy…with her."

Some of the stress disappeared from her face as she laughed, checking Duo's vitals. "I would have loved to see that. She's needed someone to put her in her place a long time. If I had been here on time, she wouldn't have had a chance to get in here. Bobbi only works on this floor two days a week. It's still too much, in my opinion."

"She wasn't here when Duo was brought in, was she?" he hid a shiver of revulsion at the idea of Bobbi-the-psycho-nurse touching the unconscious man.

"No, thank goodness. She changed rotations with another nurse, so she hasn't been up here in two weeks. It was a quiet two weeks," Mari mused, eyes cast toward the ceiling, making Trowa chuckle.

"Can I ask what made you late?"

His query prompted a weary sigh, "I spent half the night walking my living room. My son has night terrors," she explained softly.

Able to sympathize with monsters in the night, Trowa eased a hip onto the bed, picking up Duo's hand and holding it between both of his own. "How old is your son?"

"He turned three in January." She smiled as she spied his hands. "It's not as bad as it could be. He doesn't stop breathing like some of the more serious cases, but I still have to keep him on a heart monitor."

"Does your husband help?" he asked, noting the lack of a ring on her hand.

Mari emptied the catheter bag, her face red from his question. "I don't have a husband. There was a guy that was special to me, but I wasn't so special to him. When he found out I was pregnant, he took off. I haven't seen or heard from him since." She shrugged, "Saul and I are better off without him. He was a bad boy, one I believed would change."

Realizing she was embarrassed, Trowa ducked his head to hide a smile, "You remind me of Duo."

"What? How? Our situations are nothing alike."

"You're both strong. Things happened to you that would have most people giving up, but you kept going. Your son is very lucky to have a mother like you."

"Duo is very lucky to have you," she said, getting his eyes.

"I don't know about that. I do know I'm lucky to have him." For a little while, he added mentally.

"Are you leaving today?"

"I thought I'd stay today. A friend is supposed to be here either today or tomorrow, depending on how fast he can make it from L4. How will I know when he gets here?"

"I'll have any visitors for Duo sent to this floor. You'll have to approve them before they're allowed to enter the ward, though."

Not understanding why the ward was locked but grateful for the extra protection, he nodded. He had planned to leave, needing to put some distance between himself and Duo, but he wasn't going anywhere with insane nurse Bobbi on duty.

Alone with Duo he ate his breakfast mechanically while scanning his mailbox, rolling his eyes at the high number of mail sent by the other pilots, who had apparently given up calling. He quickly composed a note to all three, vaguely telling of Duo's condition and repeating the order they were not to come to the hospital. He did tell them their presence may do more harm than good.

With that task accomplished, he focused his attention on locating the other two men that had taken part in the attack on Duo. While he would have enjoyed making Bo and Jason Whitaker pay for their acts, his main priority had been keeping Hilde safe – to do that required getting the brothers behind bars and off the streets as soon as possible. Not being able to get revenge on the two men that had planned the attack had rubbed him the wrong way, and he was looking forward to getting his hands on the other men involved.

The images of the men's faces swam in his mind as he searched all the people the Whitaker brothers were known to associate with. He had no luck until after lunch, when he pulled up a file for a man known mainly as Skunk, though he had dozens of aliases. Saving the file so he could return to it later, he continued the search but found no hint of the last man.

"It's going to take some time to find Skunk, but when I do he'll lead me to the last of their group. I need to find out where this Skunk hangs out. I may have to talk to the Whitakers, after all." The prospect frightened him, fearing he would hurt the other men. "Whatever it takes," he stated firmly as he put his computer away.

The rest of the day passed without incident, the nurse from hell not showing up again. Trowa finished the book he had been reading with a frown. "Why is this your favorite book, Duo? It's so sad. I thought there would be a happy ending. That sucked."

"I always thought the same thing," said one of the day nurses, Rudy, as he came in to check on Duo one last time before he left. "My son loved it, though. Said it proved souls meant to be together would find a way. I just think it's about death."

While most of the staff on the floor were young, Rudy and Ellen seemed to be the respected elders. Rudy's thick brown hair proved he wasn't as old as Ellen, but he had obviously lived a full life. Trowa assumed not all of that life had been good, seeing the sadness in the hazel eyes as the man spoke of his son.

"I agree with you. Duo would probably agree with your son. That's not my idea of a good way to end," he tossed the book onto one of the two chairs, making a face.

Rudy snickered, "You think that's bad? You should watch the movie. I cried, and I'm not exactly a sissy-boy." The man's face suddenly flushed, "I don't mean like you. I just mean…I'm only making this worse."

Laughter burbled out of Trowa before he could stop it, amused by the way Rudy's hands were waving about. "I never thought of myself as a sissy-boy, Rudy. Stop worrying. I'm gay, not girly."

"I've known a few people in my life that were overly sensitive about the issue, and most of the weren't gay. Still, it's hard to imagine you being homosexual."

Raising the bed so Duo was sitting up, Trowa leaned over and got comfortable, his elbow propped near Duo's hip. "Because I don't talk with a lisp and use over the top hand gestures? That's a stereotype, you know."

Taking the empty food tray from Trowa's lunch, the older man shook his head, "You were military once," he observed, lifting an eyebrow when Trowa stiffened. "I thought they were more discreet. When I served it was a big secret, but you don't seem to care if anyone knows."

"I was in the war, but I never served in the military."

"You knew Duo from the war? I'm guessing you worked closely with him and three others."

Instead of responding verbally, Trowa simply smiled and inclined his head. Rudy gave another short laugh. "You don't want anyone to know," he said after a moment.

"It might…cloud what's important."

"They won't hear it from me," the older man promised.

As Rudy left, Trowa realized the whole staff had taken his request to heart and had begun to call Duo by his first name. "Most of the people here are nice, Duo," he mused. "I can see why you were willing to come back. The only time I went to L3 was when I was with the circus, before joining the Preventers. I never thought about going back. There was nothing there for me." In a move that was becoming habit, he took Duo's hand between his, studying the long fingers. "I went to earth because the others were there, and the job was there, but there's never really been anything there for me, either."

The door opening stopped him from saying more that he would probably regret later. At times he felt could ignore the things in his mind – once they were spoken aloud, however, he could no longer deny it. "The front desk just called. Security is escorting a man up here who says you know he's coming," Rudy said with an apologetic expression. "It sounds like he caused quite a stir downstairs."

Squeezing Duo's hand, Trowa scrambled from the bed, absently kissing the comatose man's palm before putting it under the blanket. "Sounds like Howard made it faster than he thought. I'll be right back, okay?"

Before he ever reached the locked doors he could hear the man's voice booming down the corridor. "You open the damn door and let me see my boy. If you don't, I'm gonna break the door down."

"Sir, we don't have your son here, I swear." Trowa rolled his eyes as he recognized one of the security guards from the first day, one he hadn't liked at all.

"You don't know who you got. Get outta my way!" Howard was shoving past the befuddled guard when Trowa released the lock on the door.

Pushing it open, he cleared his throat, "Howard, lower your voice."

"Don't tell me what to do, Trowa. Where is he?"

Giving the guard a short nod, Trowa crossed his arms and glared at the other man, somewhat surprised to realize he towered over the grey-haired man. "We'll go when you lower your voice."

"I'll find him myself," announced Howard.

He started down the hall, only to stop dead when Trowa spoke softly, "You need to calm down. Going in like this is not going to help him."

It was possible to see the actual effort Howard put into pulling himself together, taking deep breaths. "I didn't mean to be so…"

"Panicked?" supplied Trowa ruefully. "I know just how you feel."

"How is he?"

Leading the other man through the hallways, the green-eyed man shrugged, "The doctor says there's no change. He's still unresponsive to all of their tests."

"I don't give a damn what the doctor says. Half of 'em don't know what the hell they're talking about. Tell me how he is."

"Improving slowly. He's getting better, both physically and mentally."

"You gonna tell me how you know that?"

Stopping in front of Duo's closed door, Trowa ignored the inquiry. "Duo looks bad, but it's his mind I'm more concerned with. The staff here says there is no reason for him not to be awake."

Trowa couldn't recall ever seeing Howard's eyes before, so he was stunned at the intelligence revealed when the mirrored glasses were yanked off with an irritated motion. "You tell me why my boy isn't waking up. You know more than these idiots, and don't insult me by lying."

"Let's go inside." When the other man grabbed his arm, Trowa glanced around. Though the hallways weren't bustling with activity, there were enough people to make him cautious. "I'll answer your questions the best I can, but not out here."

In Duo's room, Howard stared down at the sleeping man, tears in his eyes. "He's so skinny, and where's the rest of his hair? They didn't cut it here, did they?"

"Either he cut it, or it was cut by someone else. It was like this when he was brought in."

Howard picked up the clipboard at the bottom of the bed, quickly flipping thought the pages. "Tell me about the previous assault he was treated for. He was raped, wasn't he?"

"Yes."

"Let me guess, they never found the bastard that did it," Howard replaced the clipboard, disgusted.

"Bastards. There was more than one. Two are already under arrest, as of last night. The other two haven't been located yet."

"They gonna be arrested, too?" Howard's eyes were on Trowa intently.

"Not if I have anything to do with it. I needed the first two out of the way so Hilde would be safe from them."

"You don't like her either. Fancy that," mused the older man as he laid a hand on Duo's shoulder. "Why haven't you gone after the others yet? I can see how badly you want to."

"I didn't…" Trowa hesitated, not wanting to explain how he had hated leaving Duo alone for long periods of time. "I had to make sure there was someone to stay here."

"I'm here now, so I suppose you'll be leaving soon? You been staying here at night? I don't see a bed anywhere."

Face burning, Trowa ducked it at the insinuation. He risked a glance up when he heard Howard's chuckle. "Never thought I'd see you, of all people, blush. I ain't gonna say nuthin, kid, as long as you explain what's really goin' on."

Faced with the ultimatum that Trowa had no doubt Howard would carry though, he broke down and told the other man everything, from the dreams at the beginning to the way he was able to speak to Duo while asleep. Expecting derision and scorn, Howard's soft words nearly had him falling off the chair he had sat in as a deterrent to stay away from Duo. "He has himself locked in his own mind because of guilt? That sounds like my boy. What? You thought I'd laugh at you?" he pointed a skinny finger at Trowa. "You know things you couldn't unless you talked to him. He could have even called you for help."

"Why would he call me? Why me, out of everyone?"

"You never let him down, not like the rest of us."

Unable to hold back any longer, Trowa stood and ran his hands gently over the blankets until he located one of Duo's, then let them rest there a few seconds before withdrawing, shoving his hands into his pockets. "You didn't let him down, Howard. He thought you were dead."

"Because of her," snarled Howard, revealing amazingly white teeth.

"What happened? Duo said -" stopping he realized how insane he sounded, then continued with a shrug. "He was supposed to go with you, but Hilde wouldn't let him go on a job. What went wrong?"

Howard stared at him for a moment, rubbing his chin with a shaking hand. "If I didn't believe you before, I sure as hell do now. No one knew Duo was gonna go but me, Hilde, and him. I doubt she said anything about it."

"I've kept my interactions with her limited."

"She's a real bitch, ain't she?"

"She's selfish and jealous and spiteful. Yeah, she's a bitch," Trowa finally agreed.

After patting Duo's arm carefully above the bandages, Howard took the seat Trowa had vacated. Trowa took the opportunity to sit on the edge of the bed, gripping Duo's fingers where their hands were, hopefully, hidden from the other man's view. "It was an easy salvage job, in an asteroid belt around Jupiter. Marginally difficult with one person, but a breeze with two experienced spacers. Duo jumped at the chance. Personally, I think he wanted some time away, and the added benefit of being in space again. He'd gone on some short jobs with me before, and Hilde never had a problem with it."

Howard rubbed his face, idly scratching his goatee. "I was at the house when he told her, staying in the guest room for a day or two before I headed out. When he brought it up, Hilde went ballistic. She was screaming and raving, saying he never had time for her because he was too busy doing stuff for everyone else. She said he was going to make time for her one way or another, then told him if he left he shouldn't plan to come back. If he went out on a job that took more than two days maximum, he wouldn't have a home to come back to."

Remembering the timeline he had come up with, Trowa frowned, "This happened right after the new Maxwell church was completed? Duo must have spent a lot of time there. He would have needed that time off-colony to put all of those memories to rest again." Stricken, he met the other man's eyes, "How could she not know that?"

"She probably knew and just didn't care."

"You timed the job so you could take him away for a while, so he could recover."

The observation had the older man grinning, "You know a lot more than I gave you credit for, kid. How do you know?"

"In Duo's place, it's how I would feel and what I would need. In your place, knowing how Duo would feel and needing to help him. Hilde's reasoning escapes me. I don't understand how she could be so uncaring after everything Duo's done for her."

"I'm a little surprised she's not here," observed Howard after a moment of silence. "Usually after they fight she begs him to come back, saying how sorry she is."

"She's done that before?"

"Every three or four months she'll tell him to get out, then goes and finds him later that day, whining and pitiful. She tried yet?"

"I told her if she came near Duo, I'd kill her," stated Trowa bluntly. "So far, she hasn't tested me."

"And what about the other pilots? I'd expected them to be hovering around, too."

"I don't know and I don't care as long as they don't come here. When Duo wakes, he can decide if he wants to talk to them or not. For now, they will stay away."

"I hate to bring this up, Trowa." Something in Howard's tone had Trowa giving the man his full attention. "When he does wake up, what are you gonna do if he goes back to her?"

Fear of losing Duo had his gut clenching. Keeping his expression blank, he turned his gaze to the window. "If that's what he wants, I won't stop him."

"I can see how you -"

Aware Duo was able to hear at least part of the conversation, Trowa cut Howard off mid-sentence. "Don't. Don't say it. Don't even think it. I'm here to help Duo get better. After that, his life is his own. What he chooses to do has nothing to do with me."

"Hilde's selfish, Trowa. You're selfless."

Not knowing what to say, Trowa glanced at his watch. "If I don't come back tonight, will you stay with him? The men I'm going to be looking for are the types that do their work at night."

"You gonna be okay out there at night? This ain't earth, boy."

"I grew up in a place a lot like this. I remember the rules, Howard."

Removing his hand from Duo's, he went to where he had pried loose a panel under the sink to retrieve his bag, hearing Howard's chuckle behind him. Seeing the variety of tools and weapons Trowa began to pull out from under the false bottom of the bag, the older man's amusement died. "You goin' to war?"

Slipping on his holster, Trowa put his service weapon in it, removing it again seconds later and replacing it with one of his own personal, untraceable, guns. After that he tucked another gun in a butt-holster, affixing it to the back of his pants before he dug in the bag and came out with a number of knives. Once he attached the sheathes to his legs, he put his knives there – taking the third sheath and putting it on his forearm, sliding the blade Duo had tried to end his own life with inside. Making sure he had spare ammo and his set of lock-picking tools, he nodded to Howard. "Whatever it takes."

Wanting to say good-bye to Duo but uncomfortable with an observer, he started to put on his leather jacket, stopping when Howard popped up from the chair like an over-wound jack-in-the-box. "Actually, if you can wait a few minutes, I'd like to introduce myself to the nurses. Maybe I can charm them into getting me some grub."

"Have the food charged to the room. It's on Quatre's tab."

"Nice touch," Howard commented as he breezed out the door, closing it firmly behind him.

Approaching the head of the bed, words died in Trowa's throat. For a moment he could only look at the braided man, running his hand across the thick hair, trying to find what he wanted to say. Finally, he leaned down to kiss Duo's forehead, resting his brow there for a moment. "I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'll be back. Howard's going to stay with you until I return. I'll…" _miss you_. "I…" _have so many things I need to tell you_. "I…" _think I love you_. "I'll be back," he rasped, words thick with emotion. "You keep fighting, Duo. Don't you dare give up."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Graphic violence and a very pissed-off Trowa. I warned ya.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 13

The constant buzz was annoying. Straining to hear what was being said outside of him, he only caught parts of the strange conversation, though he heard and recognized both voices. One he had known almost half his life, since being caught aboard a Sweeper ship he had hitched a ride on. Howard. The relief was palpable, making him feel lighter in his dark cage. While he had believed Trowa, it was so much better to hear the older man's gruff tone for himself.

The other voice was one he was growing to count on, depending on Trowa to keep him strong during his imprisonment. It was the first time in a long time he felt he could actually depend on someone and they wouldn't let him down. Somehow he knew if he fell, Trowa would be there until he climbed back up – not fighting the battles for him, but supporting him.

Howard's voice grew strange. Needing to hear more, he snapped at the relentless onslaught. "Can you shut up for a few seconds?"

It seemed to work, a stunned silence letting him hear Howard clearly, "When he wakes up, what are you gonna do if he goes back to her?"

"If that's what he wants, I won't stop him." Trowa's voice was oddly melancholy, seeming saddened.

"I can see -"

"Don't." The firm order had him blinking in surprise in his darkness. What had Howard been about to say?

Wondering about this, he lost track of the ongoing conversation, tuning back in when Trowa began to speak directly to him. Realizing what the tall man was preparing to do, he tried to move or speak, wanting to tell Trowa it didn't matter. He wasn't worth taking the risk. His struggles ceased when Trowa stuttered, words increasingly pained. The sense that Trowa wasn't telling him something important had him renewing his efforts to do something to get the green-eyed man's attention.

Eventually, he stopped fighting against himself, hearing only silence from where Trowa's voice had been coming from. Trowa had apparently left to hunt for the men that had…hurt him. The invisible bonds that held him still were suddenly too constricting. The voices tormenting him were abruptly meaningless, yet still unwilling to release him from his despair. Gritting his teeth against the demons his mind had created to hold him captive, he decided it was past time to put an end to this.

"All right, you sons of bitches. Who wants to leave first?"

Eyes steady, Trowa followed the man in front of him, melting into the shadows when his prey stopped to talk to a prostitute. Quickly, a deal was made, the man and woman moving at a faster pace than the man had been alone, both smiling at each other.

It had taken ten hours to get to this point. Two hours of interrogating the Whitaker brothers had finally given him the general location Skunk stayed in, but it was still an area that spanned several miles and had several hundred residents. Eight hours of prowling the filthy underworld of night had gotten him a line on his prey. Now that he had finally located the man he had been searching for, he had no intention of letting his quarry get away. Not even when Skunk, who had a stripe of white hair down the middle of his black hair, turned into an old building that had been abandoned by any business long ago.

Trowa could smell the stench from outside, identifying the separate smells as unwashed bodies, old sex, and the reek of decaying flesh. Assuming no one would give his entrance any notice, he ducked into the door Skunk had used, breathing through his mouth so he wouldn't gag as the smells grew strong enough to make his eyes water.

The building had once been a warehouse of some sort, much of the furniture left behind when the previous tenants had left. Scanning the area, he saw several doorways and moved forward, intending to search them all if he had to. It became unnecessary when he heard a terrified scream. Guessing Skunk hadn't told the woman of his sick preferences, Trowa moved faster, stepping agilely over and around debris down a short hallway, feet coming to an abrupt halt in front of another door, where a filthy mattress had been placed, bearing so many stains it was impossible to tell what color the fabric had once been.

The woman lay in a pile on the dirty floor, weeping brokenly as she stared up at Skunk, eyes wide with fear as they fastened on the knife he brandished threateningly. "I don' wanna hear you whimper, bitch. I wanna hear you scream," Skunk snarled, his empty hand coming down to slap her across the face.

When his hand never reached its target, the man seemed confused for a second, frowning first at her, then his own arm. When he focused on the hand restraining him, he turned his head to sneer at Trowa, "You wait your turn. I already paid the bitch."

"You wasted your money," he said easily, keeping a watch on the knife. Speaking to the frightened woman, he ordered, "Get out of here, and find a new job."

Although she didn't speak, the prostitute seemed to have excellent survival instincts, grabbing her torn shirt by the sides to cover her ample bosom as she ran for the door. As soon as she was gone, Trowa stepped away from the man, looking over the man's body for more weapons.

"The hell you do that for? I was gonna have some fun."

"You should set your standards higher." The only response Trowa received was a confused look. "You and I are going to have a chat. When we're finished, I'll decide if you should go to the cops or just be put out of your misery."

As if realizing Trowa wasn't an ally, Skunk's grip tightened on the knife. "I ain't goin to jail over some whore. There's plenty out there, willing to be with me. You can have that one, if she's so special."

Wondering how stupid someone could be, Trowa shook his head, "That woman didn't mean a thing to me. I just wanted her gone so we could talk. You're not an easy man to find, Skunk. I've been looking for you."

The use of his name had Skunk focusing all of his attention on Trowa, who readied his muscles for an attack. "What'cha lookin' for me for? I know you?"

"No, you don't. I know some of your friends. Bo and Jason, the brothers?"

Skunk scowled, "J and Bo ain't around right now. I can't talk to them."

"You won't be talking to them for a long time. They're both in jail, and not getting out anytime soon."

The empty hand flexed into a fist. "If I find the guy that put them in jail, I'm gonna make him pay."

Spreading his arms wide, Trowa smiled, pleased to finally get a reaction. "I would be the one that put them in jail."

"You ain't no cop. You're like me."

Insulted, Trowa shook his head. "I could have been like you once, but I'm not. I was the one that gave the cops all the information they needed to take Jason and Bo out of the picture. I also provided them with all the evidence to make sure the brothers won't be freed for a long time."

Skunk took a step forward, knife lifting as his dark eyes narrowed, "What'd you do that for?"

"Because of something they did."

Giving a snorting laugh of humor, Skunk showed his amusement, "They did a lot of things to a lot of people. Hope you didn't expect 'em to remember one woman."

"Well, you see, this wasn't a woman." Skunk's eyes widened, his breathing beginning to speed up. "I see you know what I'm talking about. If I'm not mistaken, you were there too, weren't you?"

"Plannin' on takin' me to the cops?"

"No. Unfortunately, I need some information. Since your buddies aren't likely to give me any more than they already have, you're going to tell me everything I need to know, starting with the names of anyone else involved in hurting my friend."

A flash of fear shot through Skunk's eyes, surprising Trowa, "I ain't tellin' you nuthin', pig."

Not explaining what his occupation was, Trowa lifted an eyebrow, hands loose at his sides. "You'll tell me what I want to know, one way or another."

The attack he had been waiting for finally came, Skunk launching himself across the floor, knife aimed at Trowa's throat. The blow was easily avoided as Trowa stepped aside and deflected the blade with his forearm, using the sheathed knife as a shield. As the man came at him again, Trowa lashed out, punching Skunk solidly in the jaw and gaping when the man folded in on himself, landing in a pile on the floor, out cold.

Staring down at Skunk, Trowa put his hands on his hips in frustration. Heaving out a puff of air, he muttered, "Just fucking great."

Sitting on one of the discarded chairs, Trowa watched as Skunk woke slowly, his eyes coming open wide as he realized his arms were bound above his head. It was almost amusing to watch shock become awareness and awareness to horror as Skunk gave an experimental tug on the rope that held him and figured out what it was anchored to.

Rising from the chair, Trowa slipped Duo's knife from the sheath on his arm and walked close enough to run it across Skunk's skin, now completely bared to the dusty air, eliciting a startled gasp. "As I said, I need some information. I went with plan B, since you didn't seem too cooperative."

"You get your rocks off by tying other men up, faggot?"

"Nothing about you is appealing to me. I don't like causing pain. You, however, don't seem to mind hurting people, do you, Skunk? You didn't mind hurting my friend. I think you even enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"I don't know what you're talkin' ab – ahhhhh!" Skunk's agonized scream echoed around the room as Trowa drew the razor sharp blade over his chest in the exact spot Duo bore a scar from the attack. "What the hell you want from me?"

"I want you to tell me what you did to my friend, and the names of anyone else with you."

Skunk jerked his arms down in reflex as a new line was opened up across his belly, blood welling in the thin cut, screaming when the rope jerked again. "You son of a bitch! You tied my arms to my dick!"

Standing back to admire his handiwork, Trowa smiled as he lifted his head to the exposed support beam above them, where the rope binding Skunk's hands was draped, coming down where the other end was tied firmly around the base of the man's limp cock. "I was in a hurry, so I had to work with what was available. There wasn't much to work with, and this was the best I could come up with," he gestured to Skunk's naked body with a shudder of revulsion that wasn't faked.

Another jerk of his arms had Skunk crying out as the rope dug into the soft flesh of his penis. Hatred filled his eyes as he glared at Trowa. "When I get out of this, I'm gonna enjoy killin' you."

"Then you should decide how you're going to get out. The way I see it, unless I let you go, you're either going to lose a very important body part, or you'll bleed to death." Letting his eyes fall to Skunk's meaty bicep, Trowa focused on the small row of hearts tattoos there. "Are these your way of remembering the pain you caused?" he asked, tapping the end of the knife on one of the hearts. "Is there one here for my friend?"

"I have a special tattoo just for him," sneered Skunk. "It helps me remember the way he screamed."

Unerringly, Trowa saw the small knife tattoo, a perfect replica of the blade Skunk had held on the woman. "You mean this one?" An evil chuckle answered his question. As a response of his own, Trowa slashed quickly, removing the chunk of flesh that held the picture and watching it fall to the floor with a grisly plop. "Now you can remember the way you screamed, if you live," he noted once the other man finished shrieking.

"I'll tell you what you want to know, I swear. Let me down," Skunk pled, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Satisfied the other man was finally beginning to understand the situation, Trowa crossed his arms over his chest. "Tell me about that night. Who was with you, what you did, everything."

"J said Bo wanted a favor, something we'd enjoy. J made some phone calls - got us all together. All we had to do was wait outside the guy's apartment for him to come out and follow him 'til he was in a spot where there wasn't a bunch of people. We had some fun with him – made it last a real long time."

Lost in his memories, Skunk actually smiled. His humor faded instantly when Trowa ran the blade across his arm, marring the line of heart tattoos. "Wasn't that hard, guy was pretty. That long hair almost made him look like a girl. Sharp really took a liking to all that hair, even took most of it afterwards as a way to 'member. The asshole wasn't supposed to live. J told us to make sure he wouldn't get better. Somehow the little bitch survived, though. J told me to keep an eye on him, take him out when I had a chance. Even said me and my partner could take what we wanted from his apartment when we made sure he was dead."

Realizing Skunk didn't know he had revealed the name of his partner, Trowa stepped closer, wincing as vile breath washed over him. "Where's your partner now?"

"You'll never find him even though you probly pass him more than once a day. He's just waitin' for a chance to get your buddy. It'll only take a few minutes to get your friend out of the hospital. Who wouldn't trust a security guard?"

Terrified by what he heard, Trowa pulled his phone from his pocket and dialed the hospital. After being connected to the ward Duo was in, he spoke hurriedly, recognizing Ellen's voice. "Is Duo okay?"

"I'm sorry? I don't under – Trowa, is that you?"

"Yes. Can you please check on Duo and see how he's doing?"

"Hold on one moment."

He was grateful she didn't ask questions, spending the next few minutes with his heart pounding. "He's just fine, Trowa. There's been no change and Mr. Howard has stayed right beside him."

"Okay. I'll be back soon, but until I arrive, can you please keep all security guards off the floor other than James?" Trowa knew the older man was not Duo's assailant, and he trusted the man completely. "One of them may not be what he seems."

She hesitated only a second, apparently hearing the very real fear in his voice. "No one will get past the doors. If anyone asks, I'll say were practicing lock-down procedures in case of a terrorist attack. It's a drill we haven't done in a long time so no one should suspect anything. Honestly, no other guards should be coming to this floor this time of night."

Somewhat relieved, he hung up the phone, eyes focusing on the man stretched out before him. "Thanks for the help, Skunk. It shouldn't be long before your arms get so tired you start pulling down. I've always been amazed how little effort it takes to render a penis completely useless. You might always die from blood-loss first, and that's only if the rats don't get to you first."

"You said you'd cut me down. I never told you my partner's name," Skunk stated proudly, attempting to use that as leverage.

"I got what I needed. Sharp will be thrilled to hear what you've told me."

Before leaving, Trowa made two quick stripes with the knife on the back of Skunk's legs, allowing the blood to pool on the floor. He ignored the pleading shouts as he left the room, stripping off his gloves and tossing them into a pile of rags that had likely been there for years. Spotting the hooker Skunk had beaten sitting near the front of the building, he crouched down beside her. "Can you do me a favor?"

"You saved my life. I'll do anything you want, no charge."

"Just keep anyone from going in this building for about an hour," he said after calculating how long it would take for Skunk to bleed to death. "If somebody comes running out, get the hell out of the way." When she looked at him warily, he held up a handful of credits, "You're getting paid for your time."

"What'd you do to him?" she asked, the money disappearing from his hand.

"Made sure he wouldn't hurt anyone again. After this is over, find a new line of work before you run into another like him, okay?"

Instead of waiting for an answer, knowing she would likely be back on the street the next night, he walked away from the building and toward the nicer areas of the colony.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 14

He didn't rush into the hospital once he arrived, not wanting to attract attention. Seeing a guard at the security desk he nodded in acknowledgment as he always did, making sure his weapons were hidden, as well as the blood on his shirt.

The trip to the locked ward went smoothly and he impatiently waited for a nurse to come to the door after pressing the buzzer. When Ellen came to the door to let him in, he felt like giving the older woman a hug, "I'm glad to see you," he told her sincerely.

She raised her eyebrows at him, obviously surprised at the sentiment. "You're a mess, Trowa. What have you been doing?"

Thinking of her reaction to his recent activities, he forced a smile, "Hanging out with the wrong kind of people. How's Duo?" He made sure the door locked before following her down the hallway.

"There have been some signs he's trying to wake – increased brain activity – but no change other than that. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's missed you."

Hoping she was right but doubting it, he went to Duo's room while she returned to the desk, pausing as his eyes fell on the unconscious man again, heart beating painfully against his ribs. Standing at the side of the bed, he wasn't willing to touch Duo, not with the memory of Skunk fresh in his mind, the man's blood still staining his hands and clothes. He didn't deny himself the comfort of rubbing his cheek across the top of Duo's head, smiling a bit when the long hair got caught on the short stubble adorning his face. "God, I missed you," he whispered.

At his words, Howard roused from sleep, blinking his eyes before staring at Trowa. "You look like hell, boy. Your blood?"

"No. I need to shower. You stay until I get done and I'll fill you in?"

"You bet. I grabbed a few sandwiches from vending when you didn't make it for dinner."

"Was anyone with Duo while you were gone?"

"Ellen stayed with him. She said you called and said he might be in danger."

"I'll tell you about it as soon as I get clean," his stomach clenched painfully at the reminder he hadn't eaten before the leaving the hospital the day before.

After taking a moment to rub his chin over Duo's hair, taking strength from the other man, he took some clean clothes from the small closet and headed for the bathroom, needing to scrub the grime from his body. "Did you kill him?"

Howard's question had him pausing, shaking his head after a moment. "Death would have been merciful. He might still die, but if he lives he'll think of me every day."

Weapons in a pile on the tiled floor, Trowa threw his clothes in a heap, intending to burn them at the first available opportunity. Turning the water as hot as he could stand it, he let it run down his body, hoping it would take away some of the stench that seemed to have seeped into his pores. The need to be clean, to feel unsoiled, was overwhelming, and he scrubbed at his skin until it was pink. His hair received the same treatment, nails digging into his scalp so hard he was afraid he was going to scratch furrows.

Once out of the shower, he shaved, aware his stubble would scratch Duo's soft skin. He didn't even consider keeping his distance any longer, aware the other man would leave him as soon as he was well. Trowa's foray into the evil of night had made him determined to be as close to Duo as he could until Duo woke, then he would back off and fade into the background, where he was most comfortable.

Pulling on his clothes he discovered he was trembling, possibly from knowing Duo was still safe, but most likely it was the numbness wearing off. He couldn't regret embracing that detachment – it had gotten results – but he was beginning to remember how satisfying it had been to watch Skunk's blood trailing down the man's skin, how he had reveled in the sound of Skunk's cries as he had cut flesh from the man's body.

Feet still bare, he stored his weapons and shoved his jacket into the closet before climbing on the bed beside Duo, pulling the lax body close, sighing as Duo's warmth and clean scent soaked into him. As his trembling began to ease, he glanced at Howard. "If you have a problem with this, I'm sorry. Right now, I need…"

"You need Duo," the older man finished, understanding. "I don't think it has anything to do with the timing. You probably just need him more at this moment than he does you." Giving a large stretch, Howard stood and set two wrapped sandwiches on the bed beside Duo's legs, along with a bag of chips and a bottle of water. "Didn't know what you liked, so I went with turkey and cheese."

Howard unwrapped one of the sandwiches, so Trowa kept one arm around Duo, groaning when he took his first bite. It wasn't what he preferred – he didn't like eating meat unless there was no other alternative - but to him it tasted better than anything he had eaten in a long time. "I'm not picky about food, Howard. As a kid, I learned to eat what I could when it was available."

"Parents?"

"Didn't know them. I was with a group of mercs for a long time. I didn't even have a name until I took the original Barton's." Finishing off the first sandwich, he was given the water. He barely set the bottle down before the second sandwich, already opened, was held in front of him. Trowa couldn't stop the smile, "You know I don't need a father at this late point in my life, right?"

"As if I'd want your scrawny ass anyway. I wouldn't know what to do with a kid." The comment had Trowa's eyes going to Duo then back to Howard, quirking an eyebrow. "Duo don't count. He's not like anybody else."

Eating the second sandwich slower than the first, Trowa watched as the older man blushed. "He sees you as a father."

Blushing worse than before, Howard cleared his throat in embarrassment. Taking a seat, he waved his hand in the air, "Enough small talk. You found who you were looking for?"

"A man called Skunk."

"Skunk? Tell me you're joking."

"Huge man with a single stripe of bleached blonde hair." Trowa tilted his head, "I don't have that much imagination, Howard."

"So you found him but didn't kill him. That was quite a bit of blood, my boy."

"I didn't kill him. His chances of getting out alive are slim, but he does have a chance." Trowa used this as a way to soothe his conscience. It would have been easier to kill Skunk outright, but he wasn't willing to have the man's death following him around, lurking in his mind.

"What did he tell you? Anything important?"

Recapping the things Skunk had said in a fit of rage, Trowa let himself relax against the support rail, Duo's shoulder jamming into his chest, strangely comfortable. His fingers ran through the choppy bangs absently, his other hand gripping Duo's as if his life depended on it. He finally finished with a frown, "I'm having a hard time believing this guy is security. I've seen them all while I've been here, and I can't remember any that look like what Duo remembers."

Howard snickered, holding up a hand, "Sorry. That just sounds fuckin' weird, but go on."

"That's it. Skunk said this guy was planning to take Duo out of the hospital and no one would suspect a security guard. What if he was lying?"

"Do you think he was?"

Recalling every detail, as much as he didn't want to, Trowa eventually shook his head with a sigh. "He wasn't even aware of what he was saying. It wasn't a lie."

Standing, Howard patted Trowa's hand where it covered Duo's. "Get some sleep. Maybe an answer will come to you. I'm gonna go down to the cafeteria for a while and get a good, strong cup of coffee. I'll keep watch outside the door here."

"You don't need to do that, Howard."

"No offense, Superman, but you can't do everything without a side-kick. Since your other one can only talk to you when you're asleep, I'll fill in for a bit. Someone could knock you over with a feather, Trowa. Get what sleep you can."

Trowa had every intention of arguing with the older man but the opportunity was lost as the door closed behind Howard, who dimmed the lights as he walked out. He wanted to work everything out in his mind, needed to put the little details in place he had learned and come up with a way to identify Sharp.

Running for almost two full days with no sleep snuck up on him, combining with the constant level of awareness and stress during that time. He was asleep in seconds without being aware of the transition.

"So I'm your side-kick now, huh?" he asked as soon as he felt the familiar warmth that signaled Trowa's presence. "I don't have to wear tights and a cape, do I?"

"Duo?" the poor man sounded completely confused.

"Who else? I hope no one else is wandering around in my head. That's just creepy."

"I swear I was awake two seconds ago."

It was possible and he tried to explain. "Might've been. I was kinda waiting for you. I might've pulled you in as soon as you were asleep. Maybe I should've waited longer."

"No! No, it's fine. I was just surprised, I guess. Pulled me in?"

This was one of the subjects he had given a lot of thought. "Best I can figure, I sent out some sort of psychic SOS that night, and you caught it. I thought if I tried to call you earlier in the night we'd have more time to…talk. How do you feel when you wake up? Tired?"

"I did at first, when I was seeing into your dreams but not with you. Now that I'm here, and we can talk, I'm not tired at all. I'm energized, revived, as if I had a full night sleep even if it was only a few hours." The surprise in Trowa's voice told him this hadn't been considered before. "Do you know why?"

"This is gonna sound freaky as all hell, but I think you're sharing my energy. Using some to fill your tanks." Instantly he could feel the other man withdraw. "Don't leave, Trowa," he pled.

"I won't take energy from you, Duo. You need to save your strength to come back."

"You're only taking energy I'm not using, damnit. Don't leave me."

"I will not be some sort of…of psychic vampire. I can't do that to you."

Hoping to make his point more clear, he explained, "You aren't doing anything that can hurt me. I never feel drained or anything. You're using the extra energy my body would be using if I was moving around. I've always had a surplus, right? I was told once I have enough energy to supply half of L2 if they could tap into it. You just found a way."

Trowa fell silent but the warmth reassured him he wasn't alone. Nevertheless, he breathed a sigh of relief when the other man spoke, sounding pleased. "It's very quiet here."

"When I realized what you were planning to do, I decided it was time to face down my demons. Almost everyone here has been put to rest."

"What made you want to do it? Why so sudden?"

"You were…heading into dangerous things. You don't understand people like the men you were looking for, Trowa. They'll hurt you, and enjoy it," _like they enjoyed hurting me. They loved watching my humiliation, danced in glee as I screamed_.

"I understand people like those, Duo, more than you think. The place where I grew up was…a lot like this one. That doesn't matter now. I found one of them. Weren't you listening to me and Howard earlier?"

He had been so relieved to hear Trowa's familiar voice he hadn't paid attention to the words. He had been so happy to know the other man was safe he had let the actual words float in his dark cell without listening. "I was busy, I guess," he said absently. "You actually found one of them?"

"Skunk. He had…"

"A stripe of white hair. I remember." Dark eyes over him, chortling with delight as he had begged for them to stop, holding his legs so the others could…

"Duo, stop damnit! Please, God, stop," the anguish was so easy to hear it replaced all the bad memories with an image of Trowa, staring into the starry sky from aboard Peacemillion.

"What? Stop what?"

If it had been anyone other than Trowa, he would have thought the sound he heard was a sob. "I see what you see in your mind when we're like this. I can't bear to see that. I'm sorry, but I just can't."

"You see what I see? Everything? Can you hear what I'm thinking?" he asked, on the verge of panic.

"Only that first night, when you hurt yourself."

"Don't soft-peddle it, Trowa. I cut my arms open hoping to bleed to death. You heard me then?"

"Yes, but I wasn't in your mind. It was like I was in the room watching you, but I could hear you in my head. I was trying to yell at you, get you to stop. I kept telling you to call me." Trowa paused, his voice strained, "When we speak like this, I can see images from your mind. It's how I knew who to look for. I don't want you to relive that night, not even in your head."

The hurt quality of Trowa's voice made him wonder what the other man was thinking, but he didn't ask. "Are you giving up on me, then?"

"Never. You can beat this."

"Not without help. Your help, Trowa. All the voices are gone now, except for one, and I can't fight it in here. Learning who the other man was will make the voice go away, but there will still be one left. Can you hear it?"

On cue, the man he had heard only one night hissed in his ear, "Such a pretty little dove. I think I'll have to take something to remember you by, pretty dove."

"I need to know who he is, Trowa. I can't fight him in here until I know."

"I'll keep looking, I swear. I won't stop until I find him." There was a plea there, but he ignored it, already knowing what he had to do, planning to use the newfound ability Trowa had told him about in a way he didn't want to use it.

"I have to remember. A voice without a face is no help. You have to see his face."

"Please don't ask me to do this, Duo. I'll do anything, but not this."

"I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be." Without words of encouragement or any warning, he made himself remember the worst night of his entire life.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 15

Sobbing brokenly, Trowa was vaguely aware of arms holding him tightly, smoothing his hair and whispering soothing words. He tried to get control of himself, to no avail. Eventually he was reduced to hiccoughs, left with burning eyes and a sore throat.

Shamed at his loss of control, he pulled away, swiping at his eyes, "God, I'm sorry."

"Don't be an ass. Want to talk about it?"

"I needed to know what the last man looked like. To show me, Duo remembered…fuck!" Off the bed in less than a second, Trowa prowled the room like a caged animal, unconsciously rubbing his chest to ease the way his heart was beating against his ribs. "He had to remember that night all over again. It wasn't like a memory, though. I swear he had to live through it all over. Christ, Howard. Once in a lifetime is too many times, but twice? I never thought I'd feel that kind of pain and anger and hurt…"

He was abruptly being shaken roughly, Howard's eyes pinning him. "Twice? It happened to you before?" Trowa looked away, stunned when his head was forcefully turned back by strong fingers on his chin. "Answer me, boy."

The emotion in his eyes must have been answer enough because Howard was cursing as he led Trowa to a chair. A long moment passed in silence, before the older man spoke softly, his eyes on Duo. "If he had known he never would have asked for help. You don't have to help anymore. You can walk out that door and I wouldn't blame you one bit."

His heart was pounding as Duo's memories and his own mixed together to become one. For just a second, Duo's attackers became his, the two men that had left him for dead long ago. Emotions raw, Trowa focused his pain until he could see those men as he had left them, dead in a pool of muddy water, their slit throats a cheerful smile of blood under their horrified death masks.

Instead of being fearful of those long-dead men, he directed his anger at the ones that had caused Duo pain – a pain he would spare his worst enemy. Knowing the older man was disturbed, he placed a hand that trembled lightly on Howard's shoulder. "No one could understand what he's going through, or what he went through better than I can. I'm not leaving. I have to stay."

"Because you love him."

No longer able to deny his feelings, he nodded, though he still refused to say the words aloud. "Yes, and because I know what it will take before he can feel normal again. What was done to Duo was horrible and brutal, but he's strong enough to be…whole again." He waited a minute, emotion threatening to cut off his air. "I'm no good for him, Howard."

It was amazing the older man didn't get whiplash from the speed his head spun to stare. "Why the hell not? He needed you here and you came. You stayed when you had to share his memories. From where I'm sitting, no one else could be better."

Trowa frowned deeply, wishing he was better at expressing himself. "Duo has a darkness that eats at him, not only now, but all the time. I could feel it when I was in his head. I have darkness of my own I've lived with almost my entire life. How could I help him fight his when I can't even banish my own?" He managed a small smile, "And have you forgotten Duo's straight, while I'm gay? He'll probably go back to Hilde, and we both know it."

"You'll really let him go back to her, even after what she did?"

"I won't keep him from anything that'll make him happy."

"She doesn't love him," Howard asserted. "Duo's like a prize stud won at the county fair. He's a trophy, something she sees as a possession. She doesn't love him the way you do."

"You don't know she doesn't," argued Trowa.

The older man was having none of it. "Yes, I do. You can see how you feel in your eyes, Trowa. Hilde considers Duo as some sort of…reward. She expects him to be there because of what she did during the war. I know because no matter how much people try to fool themselves or others, eyes don't lie."

Eyes don't lie.

The phrase played over and over in Trowa's mind long after Howard had left in search of a shower and some sleep that wasn't had while sitting in a chair, also taking Trowa's bloody clothes with him to discard. Eyes don't lie. Something about the phrase resonated inside his brain, so he worried it like a dog with a bone.

Sitting beside the bed with Duo's hand in his, he turned the words over and over, looking at it from every angle. Absently he lifted Duo's hand to rub against his cheek before deciding it would be best to think about something else and let it stew in the back of his brain, knowing the answer would eventually come to him.

Kissing the back of Duo's hand, he lowered it to the bed and let go. Crossing his arms on the mattress where they were in contact with the other man's legs, he shook his head as he realized he made sure he was touching the other man in some way, still needing the comfort from his trip into the night life of L2. "If I could go back in time and change one thing, it would be that night, Duo. If I could take those memories from you I would, but I can't. Maybe it would be better to go back and stop Hilde from meeting that asshole Bo, and then you wouldn't have come in contact with him at all." Still wondering how much of an idiot Hilde could be, he rolled his eyes, "I still don't know how she didn't see what he really was. It was right there in his face, right in his…" he trailed off for a moment, stunned. "Right there in his eyes. Eyes don't lie."

Forcing himself to remember, Trowa closed his eyes and thought of the memories Duo had forced into his mind, slowing down the images of the third man, erasing the scruffy beard and the blood – Duo's blood - smeared across his face. He ignored the ragged dark clothes worn that night, forgot about the hands wearing thick black gloves that grasped pale skin. Freezing only the face in his mind, Trowa focused on the eyes, only the eyes – the one thing a person could never change. Contacts could change the color, plastic surgery could alter the shape, but no one could modify what the eyes contained.

"Eyes are the window to the soul," he murmured as he envisioned the eyes of Duo's tormentor. "Eyes don't lie."

The eyes of the third attacker fixed firmly in his mind, Trowa began pulling the faces of every security guard he had met. It took a few seconds to come upon the eyes Duo remembered, set in a clean shaven face as they had stared at Trowa, first with excitement, then contempt. The brown eyes had belonged to the second guard from the trio he had met on his first visit to the hospital, one he had tried to avoid since. Brown eyes belonging to a man called Dewitt.

Using his computer to hack into the hospital employment records, he pulled up Dewitt's file. Clint Dewitt, age thirty-one, had a varied and interesting past employment history, most of which Trowa believed false. Backing out of the hospital system, he logged into the Preventers system and began a search, not of just Clint Dewitt, but also the alias Sharp. He was only marginally surprised at what he discovered.

The name Sharp had been brought up in a number of investigations, recently on L2, and on L1 three years before. It had been suspected Sharp had arranged and led a number of crimes but there had been only the lone name and a vague description. Any other perpetrators of the crimes had been astonishingly closed-mouthed about who the leader had been. The L1 government had issued a request for information regarding Sharp – proving they had no leads at all.

While there was little information on Sharp, mostly rumors and speculation, the data on Clint Dewitt was almost as sparse. Dewitt was born on L1, the only son of two wealthy government officials. The father had been vocal about the colonies receiving freedom from Earth, the mother supporting her husband in his political aspirations. When the parents were assassinated, the ten-year-old boy was sent to live with his only remaining family, who happened to be a high-ranking member of the Alliance. Trowa didn't hesitate to hack into the locked file he found, discovering Dewitt's juvenile records, starting when the boy was eleven with some petty larceny – stealing some video games from a retail store. By the time Dewitt was fourteen, he had graduated up to more severe crimes, being arrested for assault and peering into a schoolmate's room at night while she was changing clothes. There had been a number of arrests over the next few years, but charges were never filed against young Dewitt, likely due to his Uncle's money and position in government. It wasn't hard to imagine the pressure put on the families of the victims, or the victims themselves, to forget the crimes had occurred, and probably chose a monetary payment instead of pursuing the matter.

At sixteen, Dewitt was arrested twice more, once for assault with a deadly weapon and once for sexual assault. The last crime seemed to be the end of the Uncle's willingness to cover-up his nephew's doings. Then again, there wasn't any way to wave off the rape of a fourteen-year-old girl, especially when combined with the multiple cuts Dewitt had inflicted on the girl during the act.

Reading the girl's statement, Trowa swallowed bile. The things Dewitt had said and done during the rape would have been bad enough on their own, without the added humiliation of violation. "Jesus," he muttered at the level of violence, "The world would have been better off if they had locked this monster away and never let him out again. If his uncle had made him take responsibility for any of the other things, he might have stopped. It's doubtful, though. Once Dewitt discovered he liked causing pain, he couldn't wait to do it again."

Scanning through the closed record, he frowned, "He spent the next year and a half in a juvenile detention center. Once he reached eighteen and his record was sealed, he was arrested for another assault, this time on his Uncle. The poor man was paralyzed and left in a wheelchair. The police couldn't find Dewitt to arrest him. He pretty much disappeared from the criminal world, from the way it looks. Some would assume he straightened up and stayed out of trouble. I think he got a lot smarter and a lot more careful about his crimes. He probably stays in an area for a few years, keeps his criminal life separate from his legal one, then moves on. I doubt there are many of his associates that even know what his real name is. I wonder how long he knew the Whitakers?"

Not that it mattered. Now that he knew who he was looking for, Trowa was already working on a plan that didn't involve Duo being hurt while destroying Dewitt. He had an idea forming, but it was going to take a lot of cooperation and some quick work.

The next evening, Ellen rushed into the room, a large grin on her face, "So the rumors are true. You're finally awake."

Trowa winced at the still open door, able to see curious night staff peeking their heads in. The sight of the man sitting up in bed facing away from the door, braid hanging down to rest in the center of his back had them making gestures of awe and scurrying off, presumably to tell others.

"Are there really that many rumors?" Trowa asked, shoulders slumping. "I was hoping to keep the news quiet for a little longer."

Coming to the opposite side of the bed, she smiled while patting Trowa's knee in a motherly way. "Sorry, Trowa. When a patient suddenly wakes up that showed no signs of recovery, we tend to get excited. It gives us **hope** for other patients."

He picked up on the emphasis, recalling their previous discussion. He lifted his eyebrow, "Is he going to be moved to another room tonight? Don't scratch at that," he chastised the man on the bed, seeing him scratch at the IV.

"Now, sweetie," Ellen crooned as she smoothed the tape that had been bunched up around the IV tube. "We'll get those out as soon as we can, but we won't be moving you until tomorrow morning. We'll keep you here for observation tonight, where you can be left alone. There's a bit more commotion than usual, but we can limit the amount of people on this floor."

Trowa shook his head, glancing at the door again, where several nurses had gathered. "I noticed there's more people on the floor tonight. Something I need to know before I leave? I have some things to take care of, but I'll be back before you're transferred to another room," he added to the man sitting beside him.

"It's the darndest thing. There was a small fire on one of the lower floors today. Nothing major, but the floor has to be cleared until they can clean the rooms. They reeked of smoke. Since we have so many empty rooms, we're taking some of the other patients here." Seeing his frown, she smiled, "It's happened before. Probably a kid setting off a smoke bomb as a prank. Everyone still has to be checked through security before entering the ward." Turning her attention to the long-haired man, she smiled more gently, "As for you, we'll be giving you a sedative so you can get some real rest. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow. I'll make sure you're left alone." Nodding to Trowa, she strode from the room, only to come back minutes later with a syringe she emptied into the IV bag. "This should take effect quickly, so you'll get sleepy very soon," she advised before turning her attention to the green-eyed man watching her warily. "Go get your errand done so you can be here in the morning. Is Howard coming to sit with him?"

"He's supposed to be here by midnight. He has something he needs to finish up on his shuttle before he can come back."

"I know you like James to watch his door when you and Howard aren't here, but he's off work tonight," she told him of the security guard Trowa trusted.

A small smile found its way on the tall man's mouth, "I know. He was excited about it. His daughter and son-in-law are bringing the baby to see him. He actually got mushy when he told me."

When Ellen laughed and left the room, Trowa didn't bother to say goodbye to the man on the bed, following behind the woman, dimming the lights before shutting the door firmly behind him. At the locked door of the ward, he found Ellen was right. A desk had been set up right outside the doors, a guard sitting behind it. For a second he fought to remember the man's name before giving up. "You'll check everyone's ID before they're allowed to enter?"

The guard nodded soberly, "Yes sir, Agent Barton. I won't let in anyone that doesn't belong here. You coming back tonight?"

Glancing at his watch, Trowa nodded, just as serious. "I shouldn't be gone all night, but I can't guarantee I'll be back before morning. There's something I have to check on, but I don't know how long it will take. I have to say I'm a bit worried to find more people on the floor tonight."

"Don't you worry, sir. Mr. Maxwell is a symbol of our freedom. I'll take good care of your…friend. I know how important he is, to all of us."

Opting to take the stairs instead of the elevator, Trowa hesitated as he thought of everyone already on the floor, including patients, their families and visitors, and extra staff. He had expected some kind of incident when word of Duo's recovery began to spread, but he was surprised at what form it had taken. Shaking his head, he went up the stairs rather than down, spending the thirty seconds he needed to pick the rusty lock for the second time that day, staying low as he made his way out the door and across the rooftop. Glad to find the climbing gear he had left early that morning, he strapped on the harness, making sure the rope was secured, and slipped over the side of the building, grateful Duo's room was at the back of the hospital, instead of the front. It would be difficult to explain why there was a man climbing down the side of the building, and would bring unwanted attention.

L2 was never fully dark, just as it was never fully light during the day, though it was enough to hide his frame against the side of the building in case someone happened to be in the alley. Carefully making his descent, it only took ten minutes to get from the roof to the seventh floor, where Duo's room was located. Spying the book he had left on the window sill to mark the correct room, he peered inside to make sure it was unoccupied other than the man lying motionless on the bed.

Prying the window open took less time than he had thought; getting it shut behind him took more time than it should have. He could only hope no one spotted the rope hanging off the side of the building. Finally, when his entry had been concealed, he walked to the bed on feet that made no noise and tapped the man on the shoulder.

Instinct and planning had him slapping a hand over the other man's mouth the instant eyes shot open, scrunching up his nose as the moustache and goatee scratched at his hand. Seeing awareness in the eyes staring up at him, he removed his hand, "Any visitors yet?"

"Couple of nurses stuck their heads in right after you left, but I heard Ellen yelling at 'em, telling 'em Duo needed sleep."

"Howard, I swear if you don't ask that woman out once this is over, I'm gonna drug you and leave you in a room with psycho-nurse-Bobbi."

Gently pulling the brown wig off, Howard actually blushed. "Was plannin' on it anyway, boy. Mind your own." Switching places with Trowa, the older man arranged the wig so none of Trowa's own hair would be visible, spending several minutes pushing the long bangs back. "How'd you get her to help?"

"After you left, I let her know who I thought had attacked him before. She was more than happy to go along."

Rubbing his tufted hair, Howard grinned, "She's one helluva woman, right kid?"

"She is. It was her idea to get Duo out of the room last night, while no one was around. Since Dr. Giovanni wasn't supposed to come in today, it was easy enough to keep everyone else out. I just said I wanted some time alone. Ellen's the one that started the rumor about Duo being awake before she left last night."

"One helluva woman," repeated Howard, waiting as Trowa slipped off his jacket and shirt, replacing them with the hospital gown. Once the tall man was lying on his side, Howard made sure the wig was still in place before making a sound of satisfaction. "You sure you're gonna be okay up here by yourself? I can stay and hide in the bathroom or something."

"I have enough weapons hidden in this room to take down half the gangs on the colony, Howard," he teased, understanding why Duo cared about the grizzled man so much. Hearing the soft knocks that announced Ellen's planned arrival, he smile, "There's your ride. Take care of Duo until I get down there."

"I ain't gonna let nothin' happen to him. You make sure you have all your skin intact when you get done."

Not willing to let the opportunity pass, Trowa spoke softly, "You would have made a great father, Howard."

Tears were glistening in the older man's eyes as he turned away, "When this is over and done, both my boys better be in good shape."

The whispered comment had unexpected moisture springing into Trowa's eyes. He forced them away as he listened to hushed cursing as Howard contorted himself into the bottom of the rolling cart Ellen was using for cover as she replaced the towels and linens in Duo's room, one of the many jobs she did nightly.

As the door closed, Trowa settled down for a long wait, closing his eyes and dozing fitfully. He had explained his idea to Duo the night before and had patiently answered the seemingly dozens of concerns the braided man had, so he wasn't expecting to be pulled into the other man's mind.

That was why he snapped to full awareness when Duo's voice screamed inside his head. "Wake up, Trowa! He's coming! He's there!"


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: There's a fight here, so don't be shocked. Crude language and cruel threats are expected.

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 16

A whisper of sound was the only warning before a hand slapped over his mouth from behind. "Well, well, my pretty little dove. I heard you were awake. This seemed like the last chance I was going to get to see you again."

Keeping his body stiff, Trowa made a sound in the back of his throat so he would seem afraid, hearing something that made his heart pound in his chest – not one set of chuckles, as he had expected, but two. Dewitt had brought a friend.

In a split second, Trowa realized Dewitt had no intention of taking Duo out of the hospital and running a chance of being caught. The only question now was how did the security guard plan to kill him? He got his answer seconds later, thanks to the third man in the room, Dewitt's accomplice.

"What ya gonna do to him, Sharp?"

"Put this in his IV. It'll make him complacent. He won't care what happens to him when this gets in his system. Once we've had our fun, we'll add more sedative to the IV bag. That bitch nurse will be blamed for giving him the wrong dosage."

"You sure it'll work?"

"I'm sure. I've done this before."

There was a moment of silence as the other man did as Sharp ordered, the IV bag crinkling as it was grasped. Trowa experienced a second of horror when he felt a tug on the wig, hoping it didn't fall off before he was ready. He needed Dewitt to talk as much as possible.

"What if we get caught, Sharp? I don' wanna go to prison."

"We won't get caught, Nix." Dewitt was clearly losing his patience with his co-conspirator. "You heard the old bat. No one's to bother Mr. Maxwell until morning. It has to be tonight. Tomorrow that asshole boyfriend of his will likely have him surrounded by security. Isn't that right, dove? Everyone was so surprised by your waking; it's the biggest news in the hospital."

Feeling bile rise in his throat, Trowa swallowed hard as Duo's memories of that crooning voice surfaced in his mind. Dewitt felt the convulsive movement and laughed darkly. "You just realized what I have in store for you, didn't you, dove? Maybe it'll be better if I let you live. That bastard boyfriend of yours won't want you when I'm done. Nobody will want you by the time I get finished, except Nix, and his standards are low. As long as a person is breathing, he'll screw it."

"Whatever, dude. Can we get this show on the road, Sharp? You promised me some action if I came with you, remember?"

"See, dove? He's not picky, though in this case I can't fault his taste." Nix must have made a move Dewitt didn't approve of, because he growled, "He's mine first, Nix. You can make do with his mouth for a while…we have all night."

Right hand closing on the hilt of a knife under the pillow, Trowa allowed his anger to rise, clenching his eyes shut as the man called Nix came around the bed. The sound of a zipper opening had him jerking back out of reflex, bumping into Dewitt. "You do a good job and I'll consider letting you live," Dewitt chortled into his ear. "But I'll take the rest of your hair to go with what I already have at home."

Unable to wait any longer, too afraid he would be confronted by his own past, Trowa lashed out when Nix's cock was exposed, severing it with one swipe as his left hand came out from under the blanket, revealing the gun he held. He kicked Nix away, who was gasping while grasping his mutilated groin. The wig came off in Dewitt's hand, making him growl with rage.

Staring at Trowa, already on his feet, Dewitt's eyes burned with cold excitement, ignoring Nix's whimpers of pain. "What the fuck you doing here?"

Allowing a smile to creep across his face, Trowa moved, deliberately letting the other man see him holster the gun. "Did you think I was spending my time away from here at a hotel? I've been searching for the people that hurt Duo half a year ago. I set up everything so you would make your move tonight, Dewitt, or should I call you Sharp?"

"No one's ever connected those two people, other than Nix here, and I was going to kill him later. Can't take chances, you know. I've got a good gig here; I won't let you ruin it for me."

"How do you plan to explain this?" Trowa tilted his head in the direction of Nix, moaning in agony.

Dewitt followed the gesture, shrugging his shoulders, "I'll think of something. I always do." Slowly, he pulled a long knife hidden in his belt, behind the long shirt he wore, waving it around. "I was planning on using this on lovely Duo when I was finished with him. You get to see how it feels first."

Without amusement, Trowa smiled, "Even if you kill me, you'll never get Duo. He's long gone from here already."

"He won't leave you here. He's nearby, waiting for you. If I wait long enough, he'll show up when you don't come back."

Trowa's smile widened, "He might come if he was awake." Dewitt's shocked expression had him smirking. "Did I forget to mention he didn't actually have a miraculous sudden recovery? We made the whole thing up so you would make a move."

When the other man lunged forward, Trowa decided he should have kept the gun in his hand. He hadn't counted on Dewitt being fast – too damn fast. If they were in an open area he would have a good chance, but the small space dotted with obstacles made it hard to dodge the blade held with expert precision. Hoping to tire Dewitt out, he focused his attention on trying to stay out of range of the knife rather than try to attack, only slashing when he saw an open spot in the other man's defenses.

Unfortunately, Dewitt's blade was longer and double-edged, like Duo's own knife…the knife Trowa had chosen to leave with Howard. He had cuts up both arms within minutes, and one along his side where he had lifted an arm at the wrong moment. Bargaining for a few more minutes, he shoved the rolling table at Dewitt, then rushed under it and pulled his arms up, slashing the tender flesh of the other man's thigh.

His pleasure at the hit was short-lived as his feet were abruptly yanked out from under him as he began to stand, causing him to hit the floor hard, landing on his back hard enough to knock the wind from his lungs. In his desire to defeat Dewitt, he had let himself forget about Nix, assuming the man would have feinted from pain within seconds. Quickly rolling from Nix and the knife he had raised, Trowa rolled straight into Dewitt's feet, looking up with resignation when he saw the glittering blade raised into the air above him.

He had always heard your life would flash in front of you before you died, but his didn't, or possibly, in a way, it did. Every moment he had spent talking to Duo and Howard flew through his brain, helping him see it had been the best days of his life in spite the horrible circumstances. Oddly at peace with the choices he had made, even if they had led to his own death, he waited, knowing if he didn't make it to the room Duo and Howard were in that the older man would get Duo off the colony as fast as humanly possible. When the blow he expected never came, he frowned at the stunned look on Dewitt's features as the double-edged knife clattered to the floor, followed seconds later by the man, a blade shoved deep into the back of his neck.

His eyes widened as he saw another figure standing tall for a second before slumping against the end of the bed. Scrambling up from the floor, Trowa barely managed to catch Duo as he collapsed, grunting through his own pain. He wanted to ask questions but there was no time as the door suddenly flew open and the room filled with bewildered staff and security.

Ignoring his bleeding wounds, Trowa carefully lifted Duo and set him on the bed, avoiding the eyes that watched him as he was bombarded with questions.

It was hours before all the commotion died down. Security had called in the sector police, and it had taken Trowa's authority before they would listen to what had occurred, although the recording Trowa had containing Dewitt's confession went a long way to easing suspicions and red tape.

Standing in the hallway, Trowa looked into the room as Howard and Duo spoke in soft tones, Ellen busying herself by making certain her patient – honestly awake this time – was comfortable in his new room. After a few minutes of watching the trio, the tall man turned away, body aching.

"You aren't even going to say hello?" Ellen admonished as she caught up to him in the hallway. "You're just going to leave?"

"I'm not leaving."

"Looks that way to me."

Leaning wearily against a wall, he shook his head at her set expression. "I was going to find a place to lie down for a little while, Ellen. I'm not leaving yet. Damn," he muttered when he shifted and saw the streak of blood left on the wall.

Frowning, she directed him to a spare room, closing the door behind her. "Take off your shirt so I can take a look at you."

One look at her face had him doing as she ordered, stripping off the shirt he had managed to put on during the questioning he had been subjected to. Letting out a dejected sigh, he let it fall in a pile on the floor. Seeing the amount of blood on it that would never come off, he grunted, "I liked that shirt."

"If you had wanted to keep it in good shape you should have shot that son of a bitch to begin with." His head jerked up at her words, earning him a scowl. "I heard what he did, and the list of crimes he'll be charged with. Duo wouldn't have missed if he hadn't been so weak."

Trowa had a sneaking suspicion Duo hadn't missed, but didn't voice it. It would have taken less than an inch on either side for the stab to kill Dewitt, but the blade had cleanly sliced the man's vertebra, leaving him completely paralyzed. It wasn't a mistake anyone with their training could make, no matter how weak.

Hissing as she took a look at the damage done by Dewitt's blade, Ellen shook her head, "What were you thinking? Why didn't you use the gun?" she asked as she began to dab at the gash on his side.

"I wasn't thinking, I guess. I just wanted to hurt him, the way he had hurt Duo. I didn't think he would be that damn fast. My mistake."

"One you paid for. Trowa, this is going to need stitches," he was informed, nodding in response. Tired, he lay down as she went to gather supplies she needed to tend to him, opening his eyes when she returned. As she sewed his skin together, her brow furrowed, "Why don't you sleep in Duo's room, like you have been?"

Wincing at the feel of a needle pulling through his skin, he shook his head slightly, "He's awake."

"So?"

"Ellen, we really are just friends. There's nothing between us. There never has been." And never would be.

"Howard told me how you came halfway across the solar system because you thought Duo needed you. Duo woke up from a coma when he thought you were in danger. Sounds like something to me."

"I was helping him put his demons to rest. Dewitt was one of those demons. Duo most likely needed to be there himself, that's all."

The woman fell silent, competently stitching his side before wrapping it, and his arms, in gauze. Seeing the state of his shirt, she left the room with orders for him to stay where he was, coming back with a large t-shirt bearing the words: Sarcasm, It's One of My Many Talents. Reading the phrase, he began to laugh, trying to cut off the sound when it took on a hysterical note, but couldn't.

Wrapping one arm around his shoulder, Ellen offered support until he calmed down. "How long has it been since you ate something?" At his blank expression, she clicked her tongue in disapproval. "We'll just have to fix you up, then. I'll be right back."

At the door she hesitated. Forcing a smile that felt more than a little ragged at the edges, he promised, "I'll be here when you get back."

When she returned almost a half-hour later, it was with a burger and fries, a set of soft green scrubs, a blanket, and a pillow. "When you get done eating, take a shower and get some sleep in here. I'll tell Duo and Howie where you are, and that you'll come see them when you wake up." Crossing her arms over her chest, she gave him a stern look. "Don't you make a liar out of me, Trowa."

Knowing seeing Duo, speaking to him, was going to be painful didn't mean he was going to be able to avoid the violet-eyed man forever. He had planned to talk to Duo the next day anyway, needing some time to adjust before facing the man that had become so important in such a short time. "I'll go see them. I was going to, but I wasn't entirely sure they would want me around."

"Foolishness. Howard cares about you like a son, and Duo…is worried about you. The only time he got to see you was before the security guards barged into the room. He was asking if you were okay."

"When you talk to them, tell them I'm fine. I'm just tired, Ellen. So, so tired."

Eventually she left him alone in the room. In the shower he simply stood as water rained over him, completely exhausted in body and soul. Donning the scrubs, he practically collapsed on the bed, hoping for sleep so he could escape the emptiness he felt, an emptiness that had been filled without him realizing it while he was in Duo's presence. Arms curled around his body as if to ward off that void, he huddled under the thin blanket, falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: The G-boys and Gundam Wing don't belong to me.

Warnings: Located in the first part. Be sure to look or you might be surprised.

AN: This is the last part, and I apologize for any of those that aren't happy with this, it just had to end this way. There is good news...there is a sequel, unfortunately it will not be posted on because of content. If you want to see what happens after the end of this, you can find the sequel on Mediaminer under my name, or you can find it on my own site, .com. I hope everyone's curious enough to go check it out!

FIGHTING THE DARKNESS – PART 17

Opening his eyes, he stared in wonder. Instead of the hospital room he had gone to sleep in, he was standing in the center of a large field, surrounded by tall grass and flowers of every shape and color. In the near distance he could see rows of mountain, one with a waterfall splitting the trees covering the surface, a streak of blue amidst a sea of green.

Rather than question the appearance of possibly the most beautiful place he had ever seen, he walked a bit, hand held out to brush the top of the grass. Letting the peace around him soothe his troubled heart, he found a rock and took a seat on it, pulling one leg up and hooking his arms around his knee.

He was completely unsurprised when he felt a presence, "You shouldn't be expending this kind of energy. You need it to heal now that you're…up and about."

"This seems to be the only way I can actually get you to talk to me," Duo commented as he sat down on the rock beside Trowa. "You're avoiding me."

Unable to stand seeing the other man, Trowa kept his gaze firmly on the majestic scene before him. "I'm not avoiding you. Not really. I was going to talk to you tomorrow, but I needed some time."

"I know what you needed time to do," Duo's voice was irritated. "You wanted time so you could pull back, so you could go back to the way you were. I could hear you, Trowa. I could hear the things you said, even if I was asleep. You warned me this would happen, didn't you? You told me you would pull back into yourself when I woke up."

Thinking his physical wounds didn't even come close to matching the pain in his heart, Trowa fought the need to reach for Duo's hand. "I have to pull back, Duo. I can't do this. I'll always be there if you need me, and the offer of you staying with me will always be open, but I need a day or two to…adjust."

"Why? Why do you have to adjust to anything? Nothing's changed since I woke up."

"That's the whole point, isn't it? Nothing's changed at all. I have to pull back, Duo. Can you understand that?" Looking down at his hands, clasped around his knee, he saw the other man move out of the corner of his eye. He thought there was a hiss of frustration but wasn't going to look to make sure.

"What do you want from me, Trowa?"

Although the question was a surprise, the answer was immediate. "I don't want anything from you. I just want you to be happy."

"So if I asked you to help me move my stuff from my apartment back to Hilde's, what would you say?"

"When do you want me to start?"

"You'd really do it, wouldn't you? You can't stand Hilde, but you wouldn't argue with me if that's what I wanted."

Feeling a deep frustration of his own, Trowa finally turned his head to face the other man, his breath hitching as he saw the violet eyes watching him. "What do you want me to say, Duo? I want you to be happy. If Hilde makes you happy, then I'll help you in any way I can. What more do you want from me?"

"To show some of the damn emotion you did before I came out of a coma!" Duo pushed off the rock and stalked around, the skies darkening to match his own feelings. "You were open and honest with me. I know damn well there are things you didn't tell me, but you said more than you are now. Why can't you talk to me like you were?"

Suddenly, it was all too much. The days of little sleep and constant stress, the emotions that were so strong and the memories of Duo's assault and his own caused everything to grow until it was impossible to contain. "What the hell do you want to hear me say, Duo? That it was easier to talk to you when you couldn't respond? It was, damnit. I didn't have to worry about you laughing at me or hating me, so yeah, it was a lot easier. I don't want anything in return for helping you. I don't want anything at all. I want you to be happy and maybe get to spend some time with you before you go on with your life." Breathing hard, he pulled up his other leg and let his forehead rest on his knees, stunned by everything that had come out in a rush. Not daring to look at the braided man, he sighed heavily, "There's no point in asking you for anything, Duo. You can't give me what I want, and I know that. Please don't ask me about it again."

"We have to talk about this, Trowa. I just don't know what I'm supposed to say about it."

"You aren't supposed to say about anything. It's not your problem. If you want to do both of us a favor, forget you ever heard anything I said that didn't' have something to do with finding the people that hurt you."

Duo must have realized Trowa didn't want to talk about it anymore, because he let it go with a huff of breath. After a moment he came back to sit on the rock, closer than he had been before. Trowa couldn't help tensing slightly; wanting nothing more than to touch what was so close, but the distance between them might have been miles instead of inches.

Not wanting to argue in such a serene setting, Trowa lifted his head, "It's not something you can do anything about, Duo. It's not your problem. I'd say it has nothing to do with you, but that would be a lie, so I won't. I don't' want you to feel awkward around me. That would be the worst thing you could do. If I can ask for one thing, it's that you don't act differently than you did before, when we barely knew anything about each other."

The sensation of a hand on his arm nearly broke the remains of his willpower. It was Duo's words that kept him from putting his arms around the lean body, healthy and scar-free in the dreamscape. "To tell you I'll forget would be a lie. I can't forget how you sounded, or how you touched me, but I'll try to think of it as you doing your best to anchor me. I wish I could give you more than that, but…"

It hurt to hear, though it had been no less than he had expected. "It's more than enough. I promise not to do or say anything to make you uncomfortable."

"Trowa, I can't tell you how sorry I am."

Trowa jerked his head around, heart turning over as he frowned. ""What the hell are you sorry for?"

"For pulling you into all of this. For making you have feelings for me. For not returning those feelings."

"I came because I wanted to, and you didn't make me feel anything. It just happened. I knew you couldn't feel the same way."

"If I could…"

Hurting more than he wanted to admit, he averted his eyes at the sympathy he saw on Duo's face, sympathy he didn't want. "Forget it. I'd like to be left alone for a little while."

The slightest sound, accompanied by a sigh, was all he heard before Duo was gone. He wanted to linger in the clearing, but knew it didn't belong to him. The memory was Duo's. This meant he was somehow in the other man's mind, a thorn in Duo's consciousness. It didn't take long to disappear from the scene, creating his own dream to escape into for a little while. Aboard the Peacemillion, he gazed out into the darkness that surrounded the ship.

The surprise was easy to see on Duo's face when Trowa walked into his room the next morning, bag tossed over one shoulder. A heavy silence filled the air as Trowa stared at his feet, wondering if he should have left, regardless of what he had promised Ellen.

Howard was brave enough to barrel into the quiet. "See you got your bag."

"I snuck upstairs and…retrieved it," Trowa winced at how stilted his speech was, lifting his eyes to smile at the older man in effort to correct it. "I thought it best to leave it where it was last night. The sector police would have been angry about the contents."

"Angry? Somebody would've had a cow, or a whole herd of 'em," snorted the grey haired man in amusement. Standing, Howard looked to Duo, then back to Trowa. "I'll give you two a minute. I'll be right down the hall."

Alone with Duo, Trowa reflected how much of a difference a few days could make in your life for the second time in less than a month. Shaking his head, he let the bag slide down his arm, gritting his teeth when the strap scraped painfully over his arm. Determined not to look at the man on the bed unless he had to, he kept his eyes on the street below the window. "You have a better view here," he said at length. "More interesting, at least," he amended as two women came to blows over something. A few kind passers-by had the nerve to step between the raging females, holding on until the struggles ceased.

"I wouldn't know. Howard hasn't let me get that far yet."

Hearing the wistful tone, Trowa offered some encouragement, "It won't be long before no one can hold you back. Let him fuss a bit. He's had a hard time this last week."

"You've had a hard time, too. Don't you want to fuss a little?"

"I'm not the type to fuss unless it's called for." He didn't know if it was better or worse that Duo acted like nothing had changed. Crossing his arms over his chest carefully, he decided to tell the other man all he needed to so he could leave. There was a bottle of whiskey in his bag practically begging him to open it. "The hospital plans to keep you here longer?"

"Yeah. Observation stuff. I have to take some tests this afternoon, make sure I didn't do any nerve damage. I don't think I did. My hands and arms seem to work just fine."

"If you decide to go back to your apartment, I've arranged for your rent to be paid through the end of next month."

"I appreciate that and all - the hospital bill is going to be hell - but I can't ask you to do that."

"The hospital bills are being paid, plus any other expenses you may have had. I'm not paying them, Duo. The others are." He didn't have to explain who he was referring to.

"Why would they do that?" the other man sounded bewildered.

"We'll call it penance for not being there when you needed them. They're more than happy to help." Not wanting things to be difficult for Duo, he relented, "They really are sorry, Duo. Sometimes it's easy for them to get caught up in their own lives and forget those that are supposed to be friends. If you would like to see them, I can pass the message along."

"Didn't you tell them not to come?"

This brought a smile to Trowa's face that Duo couldn't see. "I'm fairly certain they're close by. I didn't say anything about them staying off the colony."

Duo chuckled but didn't sound all that amused. "Could you have someone meet Hilde at my apartment? You'll have to call her, but she'd know better than anyone what I'll want to take with me when I leave."

After everything that had happened, the idea of speaking to Hilde made his stomach roll, but he nodded. Recalling the odd assortment in Duo's apartment, he questioned, "Would you prefer to use a mover, or would you rather we move your things ourselves?"

"If you hire a mover, it's gonna cost out the ass. How much do you think they'll charge to move my shit to Earth?"

Leaving Duo on the colony had been painful enough to think about, but Trowa was certain it was less painful than having to see him and Hilde together. "You and Hilde are moving to Earth? Is she planning to open a new salvage yard there?"

"I don't know what Hilde's planning, and I really don't care. You said I could live with you for a while, right? Or have you changed your mind?"

Not trusting his ears, Trowa finally turned to stare at the other man, his eyes wide, "What?"

At his reaction, Duo smiled, "Got you to look at me, didn't I? Have you changed you mind about letting me stay with you?"

"I haven't changed my mind. You can stay as long as you like." Hoping Duo didn't misinterpret his meaning, he hastily added, "I have a spare bedroom you can have, with a private bathroom on the first floor. There is another bedroom on the second floor beside mine, but it's a great deal smaller."

Duo looked down at his hands, tangling in the blanket, "That sounds…nice. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, but are you? Why did you decide to move?" he asked, needing to know.

"It's past time for me to leave here, get a fresh start. I should have done it sooner, but I didn't want to be alone." Glancing up, violet met green. "Do you understand that?"

"I do. It'll be nice not to be alone all the time," he agreed softly.

When Duo's cheeks reddened, Trowa waited for the inevitable. "You know this doesn't mean…I can't be…I know you hoped…"

"No, I didn't. I never hoped. Hope is for fools and dreamers. I'm neither."

"Oh, well…are you leaving?"

"I'll stay to oversee the removal of your things from your apartment. I have to return to work. I also need to make sure the spare room is ready for my new roommate," he said lightly, forcing a smile.

His attempt at a smile when unnoticed when Duo frowned at his hands again, plucking at a loose string. "Howard'll probably take you to Earth. You could just take my junk with you. I'll need some clothes, but the rest can be packed and shipped."

"Howard will want to stay here with you. I'll get your things home safely." He was already planning to call Quatre and request the use of his private shuttle, likely already docked at the nearest L2 spaceport.

After shifting on the bed to get comfortable, a move that had Trowa reaching out before stilling his arm, Duo gave a heavy sigh. "Can you talk to him before you go? He's worried about you."

"Why would he be worried about me?"

"He wouldn't say. All he's told me is that you had to deal with some bad shit to help me. Do you know what he meant?"

The night Howard had held him as he had sobbed like an infant came to Trowa, making him flinch at the memory. "I know."

"Will you tell me? I didn't want you hurt."

"No, and no. You didn't hurt me, not directly, or deliberately. I might tell you someday, but not now."

Silence settled over the room, heavy and foreboding. Trowa counted two minutes before he decided it was past time to go. "If you'll call and give me your arrival times, I'll meet you at the spaceport."

"You don't have to go to all that trouble."

Truly amused, Trowa shouldered his heavy bag, "You don't know where I live, Duo. Besides, it's no trouble. That's what friends are for, right?"

Duo's smile was open and honest as he nodded firmly, "I guess it is. I'll call you."

"I'll answer the phone."

THE END


End file.
